


Deadpool and Spice and Everything Nice

by captain_americano



Series: Petey and Wadey and Ellie — Oh, My! [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Baking, Christmas, Christmas Movies, Christmas fic, Cute, Decorating the christmas tree, First Kiss, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Get Together, Gift Exchange, Gift Giving, Hot Cocoa, Ice Skating, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Mistletoe, Mutual Pining, Secret Identities, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 14:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_americano/pseuds/captain_americano
Summary: "I'm Ellie! Andyou'redreamy," the young girl sighed, nuzzling into Peter’s stomach with her arms still wrapped tightly around his waist. Peter had no idea how to react to the girl that was suddenly clinging to him, but in that moment he had no doubt in his mind that this was the child of the infamous mercenary — Deadpool.As the good old Parker Luck would have it: May Parker’s new neighbours are Wade Wilson and a girl who is apparently his daughter. Peter is just glad he lives in Manhattan and hopefully won’t have to see them too much.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, True Believers!
> 
> I started this work a few weeks ago, and I knew how I wanted it to end, but I just didn’t know what to put in the middle. Then, on Friday night, it hit me! CHRISTMAS FIC! So I knuckled down and smashed it out in less than four days, and spent today editing (ugh).
> 
> Special thanks to the love of my life for helping keep me focussed, kind of. You is kind, you is smart, you is not allowed to read this so bugger off, Jay <3
> 
> Please ignore the weak plot, I just wanted an excuse to write something light and fluffy and happy, okay?

Sunday was Peter's favourite day of the week. He was pretty good at forcing himself to make sure his college reading and assignments were finished by Saturday evening, and Sunday was the one day of the week he wasn’t ever tied up with classes or shifts at the Bugle.

It was also the day he went to visit May, meaning it was the one day per week he got a home cooked meal that wasn't made by pouring boiling water into a foam cup filled with stale noodles.

Peter hadn’t had any classes or shifts since Wednesday, though — a short reprieve from work over Thanksgiving that he was immensely grateful for. His Sunday had been pretty quiet; he had just been hanging around his apartment, fiddling with his webshooters that ended up fried after a little spat with Electro on Friday, with Netflix streaming in the background. He vaguely tidied his apartment, and glared at his barren cupboards, before finally tidying himself up and making his way to May's apartment block. He hadn't seen May for Thanksgiving, because she was picking up an extra shift at the hospital.

Half an hour later, he was climbing the creaking old staircase of the aged apartment block, and knocking on the door of his teenage home.

May opened the door with a relieved smile and pulled him into her arms immediately, and Peter kicked the door shut behind him.

"Hey, Aunt May," he said, a little breathless from how tightly she was squeezing him.

"I saw you on the news on Friday," she said, pulling back with a concerned frown. "You get knocked around like that for the whole world to see, and then you ignore my phone calls?"

"Sorry, May," Peter apologised immediately, feeling guilty knowing how May worried ever since she'd found out he was Spider-Man in his teenage years, "My phone got fried along with my webshooters, and I can't afford a new one right now."

"You couldn't send me an email?" She asked, crossing her arms and staring him down.

"Ugh, May, no one emails any more," Peter rolled his eyes with a grin as she lightly hit his arm. "Can I help with dinner?"

"I'm nearly finished cooking, but you can set the table. Three places, please," She said over her shoulder as she walked to the kitchen.

"Three?" Peter asked — the table hadn't been set for three since… Since Ben. He followed her into the kitchen, and she gave him a sheepish smile.

"The new neighbour has a young daughter, and I offered to look after her while he's away on business for a few days," May said, taking a pot of pasta off the burner and draining it.

"May," Peter sighed with fond exasperation, "You're too kind for your own good. What about your own job?"

"Well," May said, looking a little guilty, "I thought you might be able to mind her some of the time as well."

"Ugh, _May,"_ Peter groaned. Between the Bugle, college, and Spider-Man, he really didn't know how he'd be able to squeeze in child care.

"It'll only be Tuesday when I have night shift — I can do school drop offs and pick ups, so really she'll just need someone here while she sleeps," May pleaded, like Peter would ever say no to her.

"Fine," Peter conceded, barely refraining from rolling his eyes as he started setting three places at the table. "How did you even get roped into this in the first place?"

"I met the father a few weeks ago when he moved in, he seemed like he had his hands full moving the boxes and looking after his daughter, so I offered to help," May said, smiling at the memory, "Anyway, he ordered some pizzas for dinner and insisted I stay and eat with them as thanks for helping. We got to talking, and he hasn't actually been the carer for his daughter for very long — he had to take a break from work while he settled in to parenting, but he needed to get back into it and was worrying about what to do with his daughter, so I said I'd help out from time to time."

"He didn't tell you that might mean looking after her for days on end?" Peter frowned, and May looked down at her feet, telling him everything he needed to know. "You _did_ know, but you offered to help anyway —  _May!_ You're too kind."

"Oh, Peter," May looked up and gave him a small, sad smile. "There's no such thing as 'too kind.'"

"So who is this mystery neighbour, anyway?" Peter asked, stealing a string of fettuccini from the strainer. "Am I getting a new uncle?"

"Peter Parker," May scoffed, smacking him with a tea towel, taking the drained pasta and tipping it into the pot of sauce on the stove and mixing it in. "He's very charming, but far too young for me! Maybe I'll get a new nephew-in-law," she smirked.

"Yeah, sure, just I'll add 'boyfriend' to my never-ending list of responsibilities," Peter sighed, their conversation interrupted by a rhythmic knocking on the front door. "I'll get it," he said, heading out of the kitchen. Before he got too far, May caught his arm.

"He was in an accident a few years ago," May said in a hushed tone, looking concerned, "I think he's very insecure about his looks — so don't stare."

"You know I wouldn't," Peter said, bewildered. Whatever the man might look like, May had raised him better than to stare. Still, he took a moment to brace himself before opening the door, wondering what exactly he might be greeted with.

Before he'd opened the door more than a foot, it was flung all the way open and he was knocked back as a small human wrapped their arms around his hips. "Uh?" He looked down in confusion at a halo of brown fluffy hair, and then up to the grinning man standing before him.

"Sorry, she's a bit of a firecracker," Wade Freaking Wilson smirked, standing in the doorway of his aunt's apartment, with who appeared to be his daughter wrapped around Peter's midsection. The girl looked up at him with a manic grin, and looked to be no older than eight or nine.

“I'm Ellie! And _you're_ dreamy," the young girl sighed, nuzzling into Peter’s stomach with her arms still wrapped tightly around his waist. Peter had no idea how to react to the girl that was suddenly clinging to him, but in that moment he had no doubt in his mind that this was the child of the infamous mercenary — Deadpool. At least this explained why Peter hadn't seen Deadpool on patrol in a few months, when they were just starting to work well together.

"H-hi, Ellie," Peter said, patting her head and trying to take a step back, but the girl wouldn't let go.

"You must be Peter," Wade said, doing nothing to get his child off the complete stranger she was attached to. "May talks about you all the time!"

Peter pursed his lips, vowing to have a private conversation with his aunt after Ellie went to bed tonight. "It's nice to meet you, Mister…?" He trailed off, playing dumb as he held his hand out for Wade to shake. Wade frowned at his hand for a moment like it had personally offended him, but then his face cleared and he took the hand.

"Name's Wade, but you can call me anytime," the merc said with a wink. Peter barely refrained from rolling his eyes.

"Peter, where —? Oh," May grinned, walking out of the kitchen. "Hey Ellie!"

Ellie finally let go of Peter and raced over to May. "May!" She yelled, wrapping her arms around May's waist and giving her a hug as well. "I'm so excited to stay with you, and I can't believe I finally met the famous Peter Parker — you didn't tell me he looked like _that!"_

Peter felt his cheeks warm, and he turned back to Wade. "So what do you do, Wade?" He asked, wondering what in earth the mercenary had told May.

"Contract work," Wade replied easily, "Bit'a this, and a bit'a that. Take whatever work I can get, go wherever they send me."

"Daddy's a hitman," Ellie said proudly, letting go of May and shooting at Peter with finger guns. Peter raised his eyebrows at Ellie's matter-of-fact statement. To his surprise, Wade just chuckled.

"Kids say the darnedest things," he grinned. "Anyway, thanks again May-May for minding Ellie, I'll be back in time to pick her up from school on Thursday."

"No worries, hon, let me know if you run into any trouble and I'll take care of her," May said with a fond smile, and Peter honestly had no clue what his life was becoming.

Ellie strolled over to Wade, who grabbed a backpack and mini suitcase from beside the door and handed them to her. "I'll miss you, daddy," she said, lining her bags up carefully next to the couch.

"I'll miss you too, Ellie-Bellie, but I'll be back before you know it," Wade smiled, crouching down on one knee and pulling the girl into a hug. She threw her arms around his neck, and he kissed her cheek with a loud, wet smack.

"Ew!" She giggled, pulling away and wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"See ya, May-Flower, Petey-Pie," Wade said with a jaunty wave, "Ellie, don't forget that gift in your backpack for May," he added and pulled the front door closed before May could protest.

"What's for dinner, May?" Ellie asked, heading back to the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. Peter hesitantly sat in his own spot as May started serving.

"Fettuccini carbonara," May said, placing a small plate in front of Ellie.

"Yum!" She groaned, happily digging in immediately. "You're a _way_ better cook than Daddy! He always just makes tacos or pancakes, or sometimes he'll buy me Subway for dinner if he thinks we've been eating too unhealthy."

Peter snorted softly to himself because, yep, that sounded like the Wade he was familiar with. He spent the meal in an absent silence, trying to connect the loud, brash, deadly anti-hero he sometimes patrolled and snacked with, to the gentle, caring father figure he'd seen a glimpse of tonight. Luckily, much like her father, Ellie chattered on without so much as drawing breath, and it filled Peter's silence.

"Can I go watch _Star Trek?"_ Ellie asked after she'd finished eating.

"Sure, but bedtime is eight-thirty, okay, miss?" May said, levelling Ellie with The Look™ and Ellie nodded with a cheeky grin before dashing out to the lounge room.

"May," Peter began calmly as soon as he heard the television turning on in the next room, "do you remember me talking to you about Deadpool?"

"Oh, yes, he's the one you complain about every single time we see each other, right?" May grinned, "Pain in your butt, flirty, semi-reformed killer? Extremely helpful and easy to work with when he wants to be?"

"Yes, that's right," Peter nodded, ignoring her last comment and vaguely wondering if he _actually_ talked about Deadpool that much, "Emphasis on the 'killer' part, okay?"

"Okay…" May gave him a confused smile across the dinner table.

"Now, I'm not usually one to out other supers," Peter said softly, hoping to avoid freaking May out, "but Deadpool isn't particularly protective of his secret identity."

"Peter, if you have something to say —” May huffed.

"Wade Wilson is Deadpool, okay?" He hissed, glancing furtively towards the lounge room.

May blinked at him. "So?"

 _"'So?'"_ Peter repeated, looking at his aunt like she'd gone crazy.

"You said he was reformed, Peter, honestly, I don't see what the issue is," May rolled her eyes and stood, collecting the empty plates.

"He _may_ be reformed," Peter emphasised, before mumbling to himself, "though he is taking a four day job out of town…"

"You said he saved your neck a couple of times," May pointed out, and Peter scuffed his toe on the linoleum, and joined May to dry the dishes as she washed them. "And when he does take jobs it's mostly non-lethal and only on bad guys."

"Yeah, that's what he _tells_ me," Peter rolled his eyes.

"You trust him out there, so why can't you trust him in here?" May asked simply, and Peter is kinda floored. "I've seen how he is with Ellie, and he cares about that little girl so much, Peter. And he's never anything but polite with me."

"But —"

"But nothing, Peter," May grinned, flicking dirty sink water at him. "At least now I know why you have a _huge_ crush on Deadpool, he's pretty charming," May teased, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Aw, c'mon, May, as if," Peter whined, feeling his face heat. "He's the worst, and I hate him. Just, sometimes he helps me out. And buys me food. We've never really hung out properly, because he's, well…" he trails off, shrugging helplessly. Something suddenly occurs to him. "Whoa, wait, you didn't tell him about, y'know…?"

"Thwip-thwip?" May grinned, doing the hand gestures and all. Peter bit back a sigh. "Of course not, kiddo. Although now both parts of your life know both parts of his, maybe it's time to tell him."

"Heh, I'll pass," Peter snorted, packing away the last of the dishes.

"Peter?" A hesitant, quiet voice came from the doorway into the lounge room. Peter turned around and smiled questioningly at Ellie, her dark skin flushed. "Will you come and watch _Star Trek_ with me please?" She asked in one breath, looking hopeful.

He glanced at May who was hiding a smile behind her hand. "Sure thing, Ellie," he agreed, and she gasped excitedly, running forward to grab his hand and drag him to the lounge room. She didn't let go of his hand as they settled into the couch, pressing right up alongside Peter. _Definitely_ Wade's daughter.

They spent an hour watching _Star Trek_ as Ellie babbled on about her favourite characters, and favourite episodes, and why it was better than _Stargate,_ and Peter had to admit that he was impressed someone so young was so knowledgeable about something so… outdated. She hadn’t, however, heard of _Star Trekkin’,_ the song, so Peter dutifully recited the lyrics for her.

At a quarter past eight, May reminded Ellie that bedtime was coming up, and she needed to brush her teeth and change into her pyjamas. She did as she was told without any fuss, finally letting go of Peter's hand.

"I think someone has a crush on you," May teased after Ellie shut herself in the bathroom.

"God, she is exactly like her father," Peter shook his head. "How long did you say she's been with him?"

"Nearly six months," May said, here expression turning sad. "He told me her mother was killed in a mugging gone wrong and CPS tracked him down — up until then he hadn’t known she existed."

Something told Peter that wasn’t quite the whole story.

Ellie stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, and went to dig around in her backpack. She pulled out a plush Spider-Man toy that made Peter blush furiously, and a thick yellow envelope, which she handed to May.

"Daddy told me to give this to you after he left, and he said that you're too polite to refuse a gift, so you have to take it," Ellie said before bouncing off to Peter's old bedroom, her Spider-Man in tow.

"Thanks, sweetie," May called after her with a confused smile, opening up the envelope and peering into it. "Oh, my —” she dropped the envelope, her hands visibly shaking.

Peter panicked, wondering what horrible thing Wade might've shoved in the envelope to make May react like that, and snatched it off the floor, tipping it over. A thick wad of Ben Franklins fell out. "Holy sh —"

"Peter," May scolded, smacking his arm.

"May, that's gotta be ten grand!" Peter hissed as a messy note scrawled in green crayon slipped out of the envelope as well. He picked it up off the floor along with the cash.

_Thanks again for minding Ellie. Unmarked and untraceable. No take backs!  
\- Wade_

"Oh, my god, forget vigilantism — I need to look into _mercenary_ work," Peter sighed, thumbing through the stack of cash.

"Peter Parker," May scolded him again, taking the cash and the note from him, "There's no way I'm keeping this."

"May, you don't know him like I do. He's the most stubborn person I've ever met," Peter rolled his eyes. "Plus, he's good for it. I've seen him drop eleven-hundred dollars at Taco Bell in one sitting. That's _before_ damages."

"Funnily enough, that doesn't make me feel better," May sighed, shoving the cash under the couch cushion, and Peter held back a laugh. "Come say goodnight to Ellie before you go home."

"Sure," Peter said, following May to his old bedroom. His bunk beds and desk were still set up, but all of his posters and 'nerd stuff' as May fondly called it were gone. Ellie was settled into the bottom bunk, making her Spider-Man dance around on her belly, the lamp on the bedside table casting the room in a soft yellow.

"You like Spider-Man, huh?" Peter asked, smiling as Ellie looked up at him excitedly.

"Uh-huh! He's my second favourite hero — after Deadpool, of course! Daddy loves Spider-Man too, he says that one day him and Daddy are going to get married and Spider-Man will be my other Daddy. He thinks he's kidding, but I know he loves Spider-Man more than he loves chimichacos and pancakes combined," Ellie chattered away, unaware how red Peter was turning at her words, silently dying of embarrassment while May tried to control her giggles.

"I bet Spider-Man loves your daddy too, and if he ever met you — he'd love you as well," May chuckled. "Goodnight Ellie."

"Goodnight May," Ellie grinned, making her Spider-Man wave. "G'night Petey-Pie!"

"Goodnight Ellie," Peter said, flicking off the lamp, and closing the door behind him as he left the bedroom. "Not sure I'm loving that nickname," he admitted as he picked up his backpack to head home.

"Aw, c'mon, Petey-Pie, you know you love it," May grinned, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thanks for dinner May, guess I'll see you Tuesday night before you go to work?" Peter asked as he opened the front door.

"I'll need to leave by seven — will you be able to get here before that?" She asked.

"Of course," Peter smiled. "'Night, May."

"'Night, sweetheart," May said, closing the door as Peter headed down the hallway, contemplating one of the stranger nights he'd had in a while.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the following Friday night, the First of December, that Peter found himself suited up and sitting atop the World Bank, reflecting on his week while keeping an ear out for trouble. Monday had been uneventful; he'd attended classes in the morning and patrolled in the evening. Tuesday he didn't have class or a shift at the Bugle, so he had spent the day getting ahead for his exams, and had then gone to May's as he had promised.

May had already served dinner, but told him there were leftovers in the fridge. Ellie wanted to watch _The Lion King,_ so he sang along to all the lyrics with her, and let her stay up a little past her bedtime to finish watching it. After she'd gone to bed, he spent a good chunk of the evening making study notes on his laptop, then heated up his dinner, before finally using his Spidey  Skillz to drop into the top bunk without disturbing Ellie.

The rest of the week had been boring — Spidey slander at the Bugle, a few afternoons at the university library, and a couple of long, lonely patrols. Now that he had time to think about it, he realised he had kind of missed patrolling with Wade. If nothing, the mercenary's running commentary loaned the nights a bit of humour.

He was contemplating calling it early, when he heard a wolf-whistle from behind.

"Well, look-y here," Wade drawled in a southern accent. "Long time, no see, Baby Boy."

"Hey, 'Pool," Peter called over his shoulder, not bothering to turn and look. He wondered if the merc's presence meant that Ellie was with May. "It _has_ been a while, hasn't it? You been causing trouble for the big shots out west?"

"Hah, please," Wade scoffed, taking a seat next to Peter. "You know you're the only one I like to _bug."_

"Spiders aren't actually —" Peter began, but Wade waved him off.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but there aren't any good spider puns, so," He made a 'what can you do?' kind of gesture. "Wait, whoa, okay, sorry, my bad," Wade said, shaking his head, "you're the only one I drive up the wall."

"Anyway," Peter said pointedly, ignoring Wade's puns, "where have you been then?" He was curious as to what Wade would be willing to tell him, sue him. (No, don't.)

"Oh, uh," Wade hesitated, picking at nonexistent lint on his suit. "Turns out I got a kid. Eight years old, and earlier this year was the first I heard of her," Wade said, and Peter could hear the guilt in his voice.

"That's a lot for you to take on," Peter said gently.

"Yeah, uh, her mom tracked me down contacted me wanting child support. Showed me pictures, and I couldn't believe the kid was mine. Ugly fucker like me, and Ellie, she's… Anyway, also had a DNA profile, so I was all too happy to give them money and keep Ellie away from the shitshow that is my life…" Wade trailed off.

"But then?" Peter asked quietly. Wade signed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I kept an eye on them from a distance, just to make sure they were doin' okay, y'know? But Carmelita, she was usin' the money for drugs. I was trying to work up the nerve to confront her, but I figured I kinda gave up my parental rights a long time ago…" Wade sounded wistful and sad, and Peter felt his heart aching. "Got a call one day, six months ago. Kid on the end says her name is Ellie, and if anything bad were to happen she had to call my number before talking to anyone else. Carmelita had OD'd, Ellie found her dead as a doornail when she needed a ride to school in the morning."

Before Peter could comprehend what he was doing, he'd reached out and was holding Wade's hand. The mercenary cocked his head, giving Peter an odd look through his mask. Peter just squeezed his hand in response.

"I knew I should've called CPS, kept her away from me but… I didn't want her to end up with someone worse than me, y'know? Like that's even possible… but, at least I can provide for her. I got a good income, I can keep her safe…" Wade said, as though he was trying to convince himself.

"I'm sure you'll be a great father, Wade," Peter said firmly. They sat in contemplative silence for a few moments, before Wade kept talking.

"I stopped takin’ hits, now I just do recon and recovery to keep the money flowin’. Can’t have anyone dangerous comin’ after me now that I got her to think about… I had'ta move out of the one bed shithole I was living in, so I found a homey old apartment block in Queens, and I met this bangin' chica who helped me move in and offered to mind Ellie whenever she was free, even said her nephew would help when she couldn't," Wade said, a smile in his voice, and Peter internally groaned at the notion his aunt was _bangin’_. "Turns out the nephew was even more bangin' than she is, got a booty almost as good as yours, Spidey, though I ain't seen his squeezed into spandex yet, so it might be even better," Wade grinned through the mask, waggling his eyebrows.

Peter flushed horribly at the comments, and was far too grateful that his mask was in place, though he was pleased to hear Wade had stopped taking hits. "I’m sure his ass is great," he muttered. The serious side of Deadpool was refreshing, while it lasted…

"Aw, don't be jealous, Spidey, you know you're the only one for me! But, yeah, I mean, I know enough to not leave her on her own, so that’s where she is tonight. With the aunt — not the nephew. Though I think Ellie was disappointed he wasn't there," Wade chuckled.

"So, are we gonna patrol?" Peter asked, trying to get away from that particular conversation as soon as possible.

"Damn straight, we are!" Deadpool cheered, "Been going stir crazy playing Dadpool."

"Nice," Peter snorted, "very catchy."

The pair made their way through the city; it was pretty quite as the first real snap of winter was hitting hard. Around one-am, Wade called it on account of Saturday morning cartoons with Ellie in a few hours, and Peter couldn’t the bubble of laughter that escaped at his explanation.

“Okay, Wade, goodnight,” he said with an invisible grin as Wade departed. He headed home shortly after, too, the chill of the night sleeping into his bones.

He felt like he had only just shut his eyes when he was awakened by his alarm — he had promised to go around to help May put up the Christmas tree, as per their tradition.

He’s barely in the shower long enough for it to warm up properly, but it wakes him up more than the coffee he can’t afford, so within twenty minutes he’s out in the frigid morning air, making his way to May’s.

When he knocks on the door, it isn’t May who opens it, but Ellie.

“Peter!” She squealed, wrapping her arms around his waist and nuzzling into his stomach. “Missed you.”

“Good morning, Ellie! Did you stay here last night?” Peter asked, fully knowing the answer after his talk with Deadpool.

“Yep! Daddy’s here too — he wanted to take me home at stupid o’clock, but May said she’d make us all breakfast if we stayed to help put up the tree!” She jabbered excitedly, he words muffled by Peter’s sweater.

“Did she, now?” Peter asked, internally sighing at his aunt. Maybe he needed to explain to her that the more time Spider-Man’s secret identity spent around Wade, the less likely it became that it would _stay_ secret.

“I certainly did,” May appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and lounge, looking at Peter as though she could read his mind and sincerely disapproved of his life choices. “Why don’t you come in and eat?”

“I would, but apparently I have a new, odd growth attached to me that makes it difficult to walk,” Peter teased, ruffling Ellie’s plaited hair.

“Hey,” she jumped back, swatting Peter’s hand away, and stood across the doorway with her arms crossed, levelling Peter with a glare.“It took May ages to wrestle my hair into a braid and teach Daddy how to do it too — I ain’t letting you mess it up, no matter how pretty you are!”

Peter couldn’t hold back the chuckle at the girl’s sass; she was definitely her farther’s daughter, all right.

“I’m very sorry, Miss Ellie,” he said solemnly, biting his cheek to keep from laughing again. “Please let me in so we can go get breakfast?”

Ellie held her glare for another moment to make sure Peter was truly repentant — spoiler alert: he wasn’t — before giving him a toothy grin and sashaying towards the kitchen. Peter shut the door behind him and followed her, and upon entering the small, warm room, saw Wade and May serving up crispy bacon and French toast.

“Hey, Petey!” Wade grinned, _“Great_ to see you again!”

“Good morning, Wade,” Peter smiled politely, not quite prepared to return the sentiment. It’s not that he didn’t like seeing Wade, or spending time with the man — he was just nervous about his _other_ life. The things certain people could do with an insight to Spider-Man’s private life… It made Peter shudder. He and May would never be safe again if the information fell into the wrong hands.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Wade, exactly… He just didn’t trust anyone in general. To this day the only people who had ever known were Stark, Ned and May, and the latter two had only found out because he was a dumb kid who wasn’t careful enough to cover his tracks. At least Ned was safe on the West Coast at CalTech…

Peter grabbed the coffee pot full of fresh brew, along with some mugs, and set them down on the table as everyone sat around it. Ellie immediately dug into her breakfast, but the adults waited until the coffee had been passed around.

Peter expected the meal to be awkward and rife with stilted conversation. He should’ve known better; he was in the company of Wade Wilson and his progeny, after all.

“Daddy, were you out playing with Spider-Man last night?” Ellie asked through a mouthful of bacon.

“What?” Peter choked at the same time Wade said Ellie’s name in a warning tone. Ellie barely glanced at her father, before turning to Peter and explaining.

“You know how I said Daddy wants to marry Spider-Man?” She began, and Peter nodded, ignoring Wade’s indignant spluttering. “Well, it’s ‘cause he loves Spider-Man. Daddy and Spidey work together all the time, and Dad always seems happier after he’s spent time with Spidey; kinda like how he’s in a better mood this morning than when he picked me up from school yesterday.”

“Oh, you work with Spider-Man?” May grinned, stirring the proverbial pot, and Peter flushes. “That must be exciting!”

“Well, I told Ellie not to talk about it,” Wade said reluctantly, levelling an unconcerned Ellie with a glare.

“I don’t!” She said immediately. “Not at school, anyways. But this is Petey-Pie and May-May, Dad! They can keep secrets, unlike that motor-mouth Britney.”

“So what’s Spider-Man _really_ like?” May asked, to Peter’s horror.

“He’s a really great guy,” Wade replied softly, looking down at his food, and Peter frowns at his own plate as his blush deepens. “A real hero. But, he’s pretty secretive, and I don’t really want to betray his trust, so I’ll just leave it at that.”

“Oh, Wade,” May tuts, putting down her cutlery and leaning over to grab Wade’s hand. “You’re such a good guy, and I’m sure,” she glanced pointedly at Peter, “he’s grateful that he can count on someone like you.”

“Yeah, um,” Peter cleared his too-tight throat, “I’ve dealt with him a bit through my work at the Bugle, and he’s always been a bit of a lone wolf, so he must really trust and respect you if you work together as often as Ellie says.”

May shot him a soft, approving smile, and he felt a bit better. Until Ellie piped up again.

“Daddy doesn’t like the Bugle,” she said, clearly unaware of the tone of the room. “He says they always print horrible lies about Spidey, and he won’t let me read it. Not even for the comics,” she pouted.

“The comics aren’t worth it,” Peter replied dryly, “and he’s right, it’s all rubbish. But, I gotta make money some how, and I’m only taking the photos — I’m not the one that assigns meaning,” he added, a little defensively.

“Ah, yes, the photos,” Wade said wistfully, a wide grin spreading across his face. “God, you get some good angles, Petey! You got any shots that didn’t make it to the papers? For science, of course. The experiments that I could perform on that—”

“Dad,” Ellie interrupted, dragging out the ‘a’ as May starting giggling uncontrollably, and Peter busied himself with taking a large gulp of coffee.

“Sorry, I forget myself sometimes,” Wade grinned, winking at no one in particular.

After that, the conversation mellowed considerably, until they were finishing up breakfast, and Peter was collecting the plates to get started on the dishes.

“Can I please start on the tree now?” Ellie begged, referencing the seven-foot fir that had been delivered and carefully placed in the corner of the lounge room yesterday evening, according to Ellie, who had been waiting agitatedly ever since to start decorating.

“Yes, Ellie,” May smiled, “Come help me get the decorations out of Peter’s old room.”

“I’ll dry,” Wade said easily, sliding up next to Peter and grabbing a dish towel.

“Thanks,” Peter said gratefully, rolling his sleeves up as the sink filled with soapy water.

“Can I ask you something, Pete?” Wade asked hesitantly, and Peter nodded. “You said you’ve dealt with Spidey a bit through work — do you know much about him?”

“A bit,” Peter replied cautiously, and maybe Wade sensed his hesitation, because he was quick to continue.

“I don’t want to know anything personal about him,” Wade assured him, “I just wondered if…” he trailed off, scuffing his shoe on the linoleum. Peter searched his mind for where the question could possibly be going, but was not prepared for what Wade said next. “I was just wondering if he ever mentioned me — if you meant it when you said he must trust and respect me?”

“Oh!” Peter huffed, relieved. He thinks about it for a moment, and realises that he does, in fact, trust Wade. Generally. And his respect level for the merc has skyrocketed since he put an ‘ex-’ in front of the title.

“Yeah, of course I meant it!” Peter hesitated for a moment, wondering how much of his knowledge he should reveal as Peter, as opposed to what Spider-Man knows. He decided to be truthful with Wade about this, at least.

“Look, Wade, I know about your alter ego — not through Spider-Man. You don’t exactly hide either side of your life from the world,” Peter explained, choosing his words carefully, but Wade seems patient to wait him out. “But on the odd occasion that Spider-Man has mentioned Deadpool, you’ve only been spoken of in high regard.”

“He doesn’t like talkin’ shit about people,” Wade looked down at the plate he was drying, and Peter could see a faint blush hiding around the scars.

“No, he doesn’t,” Peter agreed, “he prefers to not say anything at all, rather than talk negatively about someone behind their back.” It was true, to an extent. The only time Peter really swayed in his morals was when it came to keeping May safe. He knew she would always live in that little grey area. “That’s why he never mentioned you until after you’d stopped — uh, how did he say you phrase it? — ‘unaliving’ people. When you started working together, and he became aware that you were trying to change, that was when he decided to put some faith in you.”

“You seem to have a really good insight into Spidey’s innermost thoughts,” Wade frowned at Peter, assessing him.

“M-me?” Peter stuttered, knowing if he backtracked it would seem like he had something to hide. “We just talk sometimes. I think he’s pretty fond of you, even if he isn’t willing to admit it out loud,” Peter grumbled begrudgingly. While it was an unfortunate truth, he’d only mentioned it to Wade to throw him off the trail.

“Aw, hear that, Ellie?” Wade called through the doorway to where Ellie was assessing the Christmas tree, deciding how to go about decorating it. “Peter says that Spider-Man likes me back! This is all very middle school, don’t you think, Petey? Could you send him a note from me?”

Peter wasn’t entirely sure if Wade was joking, but he laughed anyway, feeling his cheeks warm. Wade gasped suddenly, but Peter was more inclined to ignore him as he finished off the dishes by cleaning the cutlery.

“Are you dating Spider-Man?” Wade accused Peter, and Peter faltered so hard his hand slipped and he cut himself with the bread knife.

“Ow, motherhugger,” Peter hissed, taking his injured hand out of the dirty water and glaring at the seeping wound.

“Oh, shit, sorry, Pete, I should’ve known better than to ask a personal question like that,” Wade apologised, grabbing a few sheets of paper towel and pressing it gently over the cut.

“No, it’s not that,” Peter laughed, despite the pain in his hand, “Spider-Man and I most certainly aren’t dating,” he laughed again, because, well. You know.

“‘S none of my business, anyway,” Wade muttered, keeping pressure on the wound as the paper towel started to turn red. “I’m really sorry,” he repeated, chagrined.

“Wade,” Peter said, waiting until Wade looked up and met his eye before continuing, “It’s fine, really. Spider-Man and I aren’t dating, and this cut will heal in a few days —” _hours,_ he mentally censored himself, “— so don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, sorry,” Wade apologised once more, and winced. “Um, does May have rubbing alcohol? And a bandage? Wouldn’t want good ole righty to get infected, huh Pete?”

“Oh, my god, you’re the worst,” Peter laughed, using is free hand to reach for the medicine cabinet above the small window over the sink, and grabbed the bottle of alcohol and a roll of bandage, and handed them to Wade. “What d’you think, Doctor Wilson? Will we have to amputate?”

“We better chop the arm off at the shoulder, just to be on the safe side. I’d hate for the infection to spread,” Wade said easily, his banter _almost_ distracting Peter as he poured the alcohol over the cut.

Peter bit his tongue and clenched his eyes shut — no matter how many times he got scrapes and bruises and broken bones, and no matter how fast they all healed, they still _hurt,_ damnit!

“Sorry,” Wade whispered, more gentle than Peter had ever heard him, as he tightly wrapped the bandage around Peter’s hand. Once Wade was satisfied with his work, he lifted Peter’s hand and softly kissed his knuckles, shooting Peter a wide grin. “All better!”

“Thanks Wade,” Peter said quietly, feeling his cheeks warm.

“Alright,” Wade dropped Peter’s hand, and glanced out into the lounge room where May was setting up the Michael Bublé Christmas Album in her CD player. “You think you can handle decorating, or do you need some time to recover?”

“The War of the Dirty Dishes was hard won and left its mark on us all,” Peter said sombrely, “but if I’m ever to assimilate back into society, I must start somewhere.”

“My hero,” Wade blubbered, miming wiping a tear away from his eye, and Peter grinned.

They headed into the lounge room, and found Ellie helplessly trying to detangle the tinsel, muttering in frustration. As soon as she caught sight of them, she tossed the cluster to Wade, and reached into the decorations box and pulled out the equally tangled Christmas lights and threw them at Peter.

“If you two are _quite_ done staring longingly into each other’s eyes, we’ve got _real_ work to do out here,” she snapped, and Peter was far too amused at her attitude too much to point out how what she was implying was ridiculous.

“The real war is only just beginning,” Peter murmured to Wade, who shot him a cheeky grin.

“No one will survive the tyrannical rise of Eleanor the Evil,” he chuckled quietly.


	3. Chapter 3

Ellie had taken her role as Decoration Director very seriously, overseeing the hanging of the baubles — “Hehe, say it again!” “Shut it, Dad!” — making sure the ornaments were evenly and aesthetically spaced, and finally telling Wade to lift her up so she could place the angel on top of the tree.

“It looks beautiful, Ellie, you did such a wonderful job!” May gushed as Ellie plugged the lights in and the tree lit up.

“And the best part is, I get to go back home and do it all over again!” Ellie grinned at her father, and Peter looked over to see Wade rubbing the back of his neck, looking awkward.

“Y-yeah, about that, Ellie,” Wade sucked in a breath through his teeth, “I don’t actually have decorations?” He poses the statement as more of a question, before continuing. “And, like, how do you get a tree? Do you just go into the forest and chop one down? Or do you pay someone to do it? And aren’t there spiders in there? Like, sorry, but the only spider I wanna see in my living room is clad in blue and red spandex.”

“Wade, have you never decorated a Christmas tree before today?” Peter asked quietly, and Wade shook his head, looking lost.

“Oh, Wade,” May sounded heartbroken, but Peter couldn’t take his eyes off Wade. He knew Wade didn’t like pity, so he quickly jumped in.

“May ordered her tree online, and they delivered it and set it up for her. If you don’t like the idea of a real tree in your living room, the stores have plastic ones that do just fine, though they do require some assembly,” Peter explained quickly, trying to diffuse the tension.

“Daddy, can we get a real tree? I think they look better,” Ellie said softly.

“Yeah, of course, Smellie, anything you want,” Wade smiled at her. “Gotta make our first Christmas together perfect, right?”

“Right,” she grinned. Peter wasn’t even the Grinch, but he still felt his heart swell to three times it’s normal size.

“Here,” May said, pulling out her phone and tapping out a search, “this is the site I got mine from,” she offered the phone to Wade.

“Thanks, May-May,” he grinned, and took the phone. He scrolled through his options, and grabbed his wallet out of his jeans and pulled a credit card out to make his purchase. “Okay, they should have that delivered in a couple of hours.”

“Yay! In the meantime, we can go shopping to get some decorations, right?” Ellie asked, looking up at Wade with pleading eyes.

“Right,” Wade confirmed. “Can’t have a tree without decorations, can we?”

“Nope! And Peter will come too, right Peter?” Ellie asked, turning her big brown gaze to Peter, who hesitated.

“Oh, uh…”

“Ah, Ellie,” Wade said quietly to his daughter, “Peter’s a very busy man, I’m sure he has better things to do than hang out with us all the time.”

Ellie frowned between her father and Peter, and before Peter really knew what he was saying, he was agreeing to go shopping with them. “I mean, I don’t have work today, and I’m pretty well-prepared for my exams, so I guess I can come? If-if you want, I mean, Wade, if you don’t mind…?” He didn’t really want to intrude on their father-daughter time, or their first Christmas together, but the look Wade and Ellie were both giving him told him they quite obviously did _not_ mind.

“Cool, that’s that,” Ellie said, and for some inexplicable reason she looked smug. Maybe she was just happy to be going out and spending her dad’s money on sparkly things?

“May, would you like to come too?” Wade offered politely, and Peter glanced at his aunt who looked entirely too amused with the proceedings.

“Hm? Oh, no dear,” May said, and suddenly Peter caught a hint of smugness in _her_ smile, as well. “I’ll sit this one out. You all have fun, though!”

“Shotgun,” Ellie said happily, after they’d gone back to their apartment to put on some warmer clothing, and then headed down to the garage. Wade rolled his eyes.

“Peter’s older; he gets to sit in the front,” Wade explained. Peter stayed silent, not minding either way, but not wanting to get in the middle of an argument, either.

“But — but I called shotgun! If the laws of shotgun aren’t abided by, it’s anarchy!” Ellie frowned, and Peter bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.

“Hey, wipe that smirk off your face or you can both sit in the back,” Wade pointed threateningly at Peter. Peter held up his hands in surrender and tried to look innocent as they stepped out of the stairwell and into the freezing basement garage. Wade lead them over to a shiny black BMW that Peter knew better than to question.

The ride to the city was slow, as always. It’s why Peter preferred taking the train to a cab, the cost aside, but he didn’t mind so much in the company of Ellie and Wade, who were always chattering happily. He even got the front seat, after all.

“So what colour theme are you thinking for the tree, Ellie?” Peter asked as Wade stopped at the seventh red light in a row. They were nearly at the mall, but parking would be another battle entirely.

“I don’t know,” Ellie admitted with a hum, “Part of me wants to go with traditional colours, but then another part of me wants to go with pastels.”

“Sure,” Peter said understandingly, “it’s a big call. Do you have any advice, Wade?”

“The fuck is a pastel?” Wade scrunched his face up, and Peter couldn’t help but smile fondly. “Why don’t we just get red and black shit, El? Deadpoolify the son’bitch.”

“Oh, sure, I’m not allowed to talk about Spider-Man, but you can talk about Deadpool,” Ellie muttered, and Peter could _hear_ the accompanying eye-roll.

“Actually, red and black sounds pretty nice,” Peter added his two cents, and Wade shot him a grin without taking his eyes off the road. “What do you think, Ellie?”

“I’m happy with that,” she conceded. “I wonder if they’ll have any Deadpool ornaments?”

They did not, and it was a rather sore spot for Wade after seeing all of the Avengers, _and_ Wolverine.

“Who the fuck wants that hairy bastard peeking out of their Christmas tree?” Wade muttered, hoodie pulled low to hide his face. Peter smiled indulgently.

“Don’t worry, there’s no Spider-Man, either,” he comforted Wade. “Guess you guys are just too cool for Christmas.” Wade snorted, but it seemed to cheer him up a little bit. Even more than that was when Ellie ran up to him with a basket overflowing with decorations.

“Bit much, don’t you think, Ellie?” He teased, and she looked horrified for a moment, before realising he was joking.

“Oh, come on, Dad, this is only the first store — we’ve still got another three to go to!”

Peter tried to school his expression as they took the items through the register, but he could feel his palms sweating just looking at the total cost on the register climbing higher and higher through the hundreds, and it wasn’t even his money being spent!  
  
They stopped at another few stores, and according to Peter’s mental math Wade had spent more on decorations in an hour-and-a-half than Peter had spent on textbooks so far in his three years of college — approximately one crapload.

But, Ellie and Wade were both happy, and Peter was rather quickly coming to realised he liked seeing them happy. They dropped their goods at the car, and Peter thought that might’ve been the end of the day, that they’d head home, but apparently Ellie had other ideas.

“Hey, Daddy,” she began innocently as they all hopped back into the car.

“Mm?” Wade asked, focused on reversing out of the parking spot.

“Since we’re already in the city, and you promised you’d take me before Christmas — and, you know, it’s only going to get busier the closer it gets to the day — I was thinking maybe we could go ice skating? At Rockefeller?”

“Oh, bold, Camacho,” Wade whistled, low-pitched. Peter watches as he pretends to hem and haw, but then Wade grins at his daughter in the rear-view mirror, “Yeah, I think we can swing it. I mean, we might have to park a few blocks away and walk or get a cab, it’ll probably be pretty busy… Oh, and Petey, can you go online and see if you can book tickets? Might be easier than tryin’a get them at the gate.”

“Oh, um, I don’t have a phone at the moment,” Peter said apologetically. Wade gave him a sidelong glance, and Peter shrugged, “Wiring was busted and I can’t afford a new one just yet,” he explained.

Wade got his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it, and handed it to Peter to use. “Credit card details are already saved to the phone, make sure you get two adult tickets,” Wade said with a small grin.

“What? For me?” Peter scoffed. “No, thanks, I think I’ll sit this little adventure out.”

“Uh-uh, Petey-Pie, if I hafta go out there and slip and slide and fall on my ass and make a fool’a myself — you do too,” Wade said, “thems the rules.”

“No way, I only live a few blocks away from the centre — please, come and use my apartment’s parking by all means, god knows I don’t use my space, but that is where we part,” Peter shuddered at the idea of ice skating. He’d never been before, and had no desire to make a fool of himself.

“Hey, Peter,” Ellie began, leaning through the gap between the driver and passenger seats.

“Yeah?”

“Yoink!” Ellie said, snatching the phone out of Peter’s hand and leaning back in her seat where Peter couldn’t reach her. “Beep, bop, boo-woop, done. Two adults and one child for three-thirty this afternoon. They’re emailing you the receipt, tickets, and confirmation, Daddy.”

“That’s my girl,” Wade beamed, reaching his hand back between the seats, and Ellie handed the phone back to him.

“You — just — both of you are terrible, horrible people, and when — _when,_ mind you, not _if_ — I break something, you can forget about taking me to a hospital; _May_ will fix me up, and then she will _kill_ both of you,” Peter pouted, but both Ellie and Wade just laughed at him.

“God, are you taking drama this semester at college, Petey?” Wade chuckled, and Peter ignored him.

“Ellie, how much was my ticket?” Peter asked, wrestling his wallet out of his pocket, and thumbing through the cash, despondent.

“Seven—”

“Teen!” Wade interrupted. “Seventeen dollars for adults, twelve for children, _right_ Ellie?” He said pointedly, and Peter frowned. “Not even worth paying me back, Petey.”

“Ellie?” Peter turned around to face the girl, who glanced at her father then back at Peter.

“Yeah, it was only seventeen dollars Peter, jeez. I make more than that per week in pocket money, maybe I should’ve paid for everyone,” Ellie grinned, and Peter sighed.

“Someday,” Peter said quietly to Wade, “somehow, I will pay you back, and you won’t even notice the extra money.”

“Nope,” Wade said cheerfully, and Peter sighed again. He wonders how often he does that around Wade. “You can pay for lunch, if it really bothers you. I know a quality vendor a couple’a blocks from Rockefeller, nothing over a buck-fifty.”

Peter huffed a breath of laughter, and smiles. That’s something he does around Wade a lot, too.

Getting close to Peter’s apartment, Peter gives off directions until they’re parked in his empty space. They still have a bit of time to kill before their session on the rink, so they do end up walking to the centre, right by the vendor Wade had mentioned, and Peter does indeed buy lunch.

At the rink, they skate up, and Ellie’s off and on the ice, spinning around with ease before Peter and Wade have even stumbled to the barrier.

“You ever done this before?” Peter asked nervously, glancing across the crowded rink.

“Never,” Wade shook his head, “You?”

“Not once,” Peter huffed, carefully shifting onto the ice. He slid his skates forward, and found himself balancing quite well, and took a couple of purposeful strides across the ice.

“Show off,” he hears called from behind him, and twirls to watch Wade making his way onto the ice.

He’s seen Deadpool in action, before, many times. The man is all grace and skill, stepping, twirling, ducking, leaping. He can effortlessly take out criminals non-lethally, just as easy as he could running them through with his katanas. Wade Wilson trying to ice skate though? If Peter didn’t know for a fact, he never would’ve thought they could be the same person.

Wade kept a tight grip on the hand-rail as he made awkward, wobbly strides to catch up with Peter. “How the fuck are you already a pro? Were you twisting my nipples when you said you’ve never done this before?” He demanded as Peter skated backwards slowly, keeping pace with Wade’s weird walk across the ice.

“Nope, first time,” Peter promised, grinning. Sure, his spider powers were probably the only thing keeping him from falling on his ass — he had excellent balance and reflexes, and vaguely wondered why he ever thought this might be a bad idea… other than the cost of the session, of course.

Wade wobbled dangerously, and though Peter knew he wasn’t delicate, he didn’t want to see Wade hurt, either, so he reached out to steady him, placing his gloved hands on Wade’s biceps.

“Oh,” Peter couldn’t help the surprised sound he made as he gripped Wade’s muscles. He knew Wade was pretty buff — like Spider-Man’s spandex, Deadpool’s Kevlar didn’t leave much to the imagination — but sometimes it was all too easy to forget, especially when Wade wore a big, baggy hoodie like today.

“Oh, you like that Petey?” Wade caught Peter’s expression, and teased him. “Come for the ice skating, stay for the gun show?” He flexed beneath Peter’s grip, and Peter narrowed his eyes.

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were struggling, never mind,” he let go, turned, and skated off a little ways.

“Wait, no, I’m sorry!” Wade called after him, and Peter turned back around, smirking. He returned to Wade, and hesitated for a moment before taking his hands.

“Don’t look down at your feet, you’ll throw your balance,” Peter instructed, and Wade looked up at him, his expressive brown eyes guarded. “That’s it,” Peter smiled encouragingly, “keep focussing on me, just ignore everyone else, and I’ll lead you, just like dancing,” he laughed quietly.

Peter slowly skated backwards, keeping a tight grip on Wade’s hands as Wade continued shifting awkwardly across the ice.

“Try taking longer strides,” Peter offered, “I won’t let you fall.”

Wade rolled his eyes, but then met Peter’s again, and carefully put more effort into his movements, his long legs pushing and pulling each other across the ice as Peter kept him steady.

“You got it!” Peter grinned, and went to take his hands back.

“No, don’t let go!” Wade wailed, and wobbled again, losing his stride.

“I’ll never let go, Jack,” Peter laughed fondly, and adjusted his grip on Wade’s hands. “You were doing really well, do you think you can go back to what you were just doing?”

“Maybe? I don’t—” Wade huffed in frustration, and concentrated for a moment, before falling back into the rhythm he’d developed earlier.

“See? Simple as that!” Peter grinned.

“Seriously — how the fuck did you just waltz onto the ice and then Michelle Kwan this bitch?” Wade asked incredulously, cocking his head as he looked at Peter.

“I don’t know, I just have good balance, I guess?” Peter shrugged. Wade frowned, like he was trying to do long multiplication in his head, but before he came to any answers — or any more questions — a shriek burst his concentration.

“This is amazing, Daddy!” Ellie yelled, barreling towards them, her arms spread out like she was going to engulf them both in a hug.

“Whoa, slow down, kiddo,” Wade warned, but it was too late. Ellie collided with them, catching Peter’s excellent reflexes — _and_ his Spidey Sense, how unfair was that?! — off guard, and sending all three of them sprawling onto the ice in a tangle of limbs. Luckily for Ellie at least, the most fragile of the trio by far, she landed on top of Peter.

“Hi,” she grinned cheekily, lifting a gloved finger to boop Peter’s nose.

“Lucky you’re cute, kid,” Peter grumbled without any heat, as Wade guffawed on the ice next to them. Peter stood and helped Ellie onto her feet, too, before dusting the ice off his clothes. Wade had managed to get back to a standing position on his own, though now his arms were spread wide in front of him in a semblance of balance.

Ellie went off on her own again, and Peter and Wade glanced awkwardly at each other for a moment, before laughing off the whole situation. They managed a couple of laps together, but Wade was starting to get frustrated, and Peter’s clothes were damp and uncomfortable, so they agreed to return their skates and keep an eye on Ellie from outside of the rink for the rest of the session.

“Thanks for comin’ along today, Petey,” Wade said as they leaned against the outside of the rink. “I’m sure you had better stuff to do with your Saturday, but I know Ellie enjoys your company, and god knows you’re a better influence on her than me. Sorry ‘bout the cut, too,” he added, referencing the wound on Peter’s palm that had already healed. Peter decided to ignore that point, and focus on countering the rest.

“First of all, thank you for inviting me, I really enjoyed spending today with the both of you,” Peter added an imperceptible emphasis to _‘both.’_ “Secondly, I don’t think you should sell yourself short, Wade. She clearly loves you very much… It can be hard to lose a parent and suddenly have to trust someone else to do their job. The way she behaves with you, though, it’s like she’s known you her whole life, not just a matter of months, so if nothing else your rapport with her is something to be proud of — though there’s _plenty_ more.”

He could see Wade giving him a curious look out of the corner of his eye, and he felt his cheeks flush beyond the cold. “What?” He huffed.

“You’re just,” Wade hesitated, apparently searching for the right word. “You’re pretty amazing, Peter Parker.”

Peter bit his lip as his cheeks darkened, but luckily he was saved from a response as Ellie rather fantastically stacked right in front of them. “Oh, my god, Ellie! Are you okay?” He called.

She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and glared over at Peter and Wade. “I’m ready to leave now,” she glowered, before grumpily making her way to the exit and on to return her skates.

“Guess we’re done here,” Wade chuckled, giving Peter a small smile before heading off to catch up with Ellie. Peter followed along, his own small smile plastered on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

Peter has had his work cut out for him as Spider-Man so far this December. As the streets and shops of New York got impossibly busier in the lead-up to Christmas, so too did the crime rate rise. He had stopped countless muggings, a few business robberies, and even helped the police detain a Santa Claus who was drunk and disorderly — it was late at night, though, so thankfully no children had to watch Santa carted off in the back of a police car.

Still, he’d had to cut most of his patrols short so he could squeeze in enough study and sleep to get through finals, though thankfully it seemed the more troublesome criminals — Peter glares at the thought of Rhino — liked the cold about as much as everyone else, and had been laying low. Peter spots the time on a billboard as he lands near Times Square, and wonders if he can call it yet.

A sudden, freezing blast of wind sold him on the idea of going home a little early, but before he can swing off, he heard a voice from behind him.

“Hey, Spidey!”

“Hey, Deadpool,” Peter replied, dropping to sit on the edge of the building and Wade quickly joined him. “How are you and the kid?” He genuinely wanted to know, he hadn’t seen Wade and Ellie since the week before when they had all gone shopping together, as he had recently been inundated with exams. He hadn’t even had a chance to stop by May’s in just as long, though he’s due to visit her tomorrow for their Sunday dinner.

“All g in the h,” Wade seemingly grinned beneath his mask, and then squirmed in his seat as he pulled two burritos out of — well, Peter wasn’t sure where. “Dinner?” He offered one to Peter, who accepted gratefully.

“Oh, my god,” Peter moaned as he ripped into the foil and took his first bite. “Fanks, Wade!” He hadn’t realised how hungry he was; he’d barely remembered to make himself a cup of ramen a couple of times a day between studying and siting exams. His hurried eating is interrupted by a massive yawn.

“Busy week, Spidey?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Peter sighs, suddenly exhausted as he picks at the remaining bits of burrito.

“Haven’t seen you around much this week, everything okay?” Wade asked through a mouthful of his own burrito.

“Yeah, just exam week,” Peter sighed, glad it’s over at least.

“Oh, that’s funny, Peter’s got exams this week too, you know your little paparazzi? I didn’t know you went to college, Spidey,” Wade cocked his head at him. _Crap._

“Oh — oh, yeah. Peter,” he mentally kicked himself. God, he needs to either separate his identities properly, or just _tell_ Wade — and he knew which one he was leaning more towards, though he still worried it might be dangerous.

“Oh, shit, I realise what that must sound like, that I know Peter,” Wade said quickly, and Peter frowned.

“Uh, what does it sound like?”

“I swear I didn’t track him down to try and find out information on you — his aunt is the neighbour that looks after Ellie! Some fuckin’ merc I am, right, I didn’t even piece together that he was the same Peter Parker that took your pictures for the Bugle, what a cracker, eh, Spidey?” Wade rambled, gesticulating wildly as he tried to explain himself.

“I wasn’t thinking that, Wade,” Peter replied hesitantly. “Peter mentioned that he knew you. He said you were very, uh, respectful of my privacy.”

“Oh, cool,” Wade sounded like he was aiming for nonchalant, but Peter thought he was missing by a mile. “You guys talk much? Like, hang out and stuff? Outside of the suit?”

“No, no, not at all,” Peter said, maybe a little too quickly. “I just check in on him and his aunt occasionally, make sure they’re doing alright. Owe ‘em that much…”

“They’re good people,” Wade said softly, “it’s nice to know they got someone lookin’ after them. So how d’ya think you went on the exams?”

“Pretty sure I crushed ‘em,” Peter admitted with a smile. Just a few more months until graduation, and then he’d finally be able to get a real job and get out of the Bugle.

“That’s great, Spidey, you seem like a smart kid. Just like Petey. Bet he nailed his exams, too,” Wade said in that same soft tone that kind of confused Peter — did he sound… _fond?_

“Uh, sure,” Peter shrugged, not really knowing how to respond to that. He wasn’t sure where the conversation was headed, but he decided to get away before it turned to a topic he couldn’t talk his way out of. “I’m gonna head home, thanks for dinner! I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said without thinking. _Wait, what?_

“Wait, what?” Wade shared the sentiment, and _god,_ Peter needed to go to bed. “Did we have a patrol scheduled for tomorrow night?”

“No, sorry,” Peter apologised, scrambling to explain himself, but he didn’t have time to come up with an excuse, because Wade was already dismissing him.

“Not that I wouldn’t love to spend more time with you,” Wade waggled his eyebrows from beneath the mask, “but May insisted on me and Ellie joining her and Petey for dinner tomorrow night.”

“Oh?” That was a surprise, though it wasn’t like May had any way of contacting Peter to let him know.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be great! May’s an awesome cook and Ellie loves spending time with them — hey, maybe you should come, too, since you and Petey are tight and all, and me and you are tight, and _me and Petey_ are tight,” Wade rambled, and Peter couldn’t help laughing.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think it would be a little awkward,” Peter chuckled, _more than you know,_ he added mentally _._ “Goodnight, Wade,” he stood, and swung off.

“G’night, Spidey!” Wade called after him.

After a fitful night of sleep, Peter decided to head over to May’s in the morning and spend the whole day there, feeling guilty for neglecting her so much lately. They could watch her terrible soap operas, or something. And, well, maybe he’d get to spend some more time with Wade and Ellie. But mostly Ellie. The kid was hilarious. Wade was just, like, a bonus or whatever. Not a cool bonus, or anything, just, y’know… Peter mentally shook himself as he knocked on May’s door, and it was opened by Ellie herself.

“Peter!” She cried, and hugged him. He liked to think he was getting used to this.

“Hey!” He said to the girl, and shot a grin at Wade and May who were standing in the lounge room, talking.

“Peter, you’re here ten hours early!” May said, sounding flustered. “Wade just stopped by to ask if I could mind Ellie while he did some _birthday shopping,”_ May mouthed the last two words, looking pointedly at Ellie who was still attached to Peter.

“Oh, uh, maybe I could take Ellie back to my apartment and we could bake some cookies or something, if you need some space,” Peter offered May, worried for a moment that the stress of her job and added childcare was getting to her.

“Nonsense, I love spending time with Ellie,” she smiled, and it wasn’t difficult for Peter to believe her with the way her face lit up.

“Actually, it’s great that you’re here, Peter, I could _really_ use some help!” Wade piped up hopefully, “I’m not down with the youths like you clearly are,” he nodded at his daughter, who was still holding onto Peter.

“I… Don’t know how helpful I’d be,” Peter said hesitantly.

“Please?” Wade said simply and was smiling dopily at Peter

“Yeah, okay,” Peter agreed, his cheeks warming for some unfathomable reason. “Does anyone have a spatula?” He asked, gesturing at Ellie, and Wade laughed.

“Ellie-Bellie, you gotta let Peter go so we can go out,” Wade told her.

“Don’t wanna,” Ellie said, the words muffled by Peter’s sweater. “He’s warm. And he smells good.”

“Yes, we all know Peter’s hot, and we all wanna spend the day cuddling him, but he’s got better things to do,” Wade laughed again, and Peter’s blush deepened. Ellie finally let go, and peered up at Peter.

“Remember how I said daddy thinks he’s joking, but he isn’t?” Ellie whispered conspiratorially, and Peter nodded. “Same applies here.”

“Hey, what did you say about me, son?” Wade demanded, and Ellie giggled.

“Nothing, Daddy, have fun on your date,” she sing-songed and retreated to the kitchen with a jaunty wave to Peter.

“Yeah, boys, have fun on your _date,”_ May grinned before disappearing as well.

Peter and Wade stared at each other for a moment, before bursting into nervous laughter. Well, it was nervous on Peter’s end at least. Which was stupid — why was he nervous? He was just going shopping with Wade, like he’d done a last week, it was fine. But there would be no Ellie there as a buffer, it would be just Peter and Wade hanging out together; not Spider-Man and Deadpool, not Peter and Wade and Ellie and May… It was fine.

“Shall we?” Wade asked, slipping on the large coat he was holding.

“Yep,” Peter replied, stepping out of the doorway, never having actually crossed the threshold. Wade closed the door behind them, and they headed downstairs.

“So, when’s Ellie’s birthday?” Peter asked after a few beats of silence.

“Not until the seventh of Jan,” Wade said as they arrived in the garage and made their way to his car, “but I don’t really know where she sits with the whole ‘Santa’ thing, so I was mostly just usin’ that as a cover in front of her.”

“I’ve never had to shop for children before; I wouldn’t have the first clue what a girl her age would like,” Peter admitted as they climbed in, and Wade started the engine, immediately turning on the heat.

“That’s probably good, ‘cause normal shit you’d buy for an eight-year-old girl would not fly with Ellie,” Wade grinned, pulling out of the garage. “I’m sure you’ve seen that damn Spider-Man plushie she takes with her everywhere.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty cool,” Peter laughed.

“If I could find a Deadpool one, I guarantee she’d prefer it, though.”

The long drive to the mall was filled with easy conversation, and Peter was starting to realise just how much Wade made him laugh. After the fourth time he laughed so hard he was left wheezing, he realised that he actually really, _really_ liked hanging out with Wade, and he needed to tell his secret because he didn’t think he could keep enjoying the best of both worlds before the good old Parker Luck blew up in his face. Hannah Montana he was not.

“You okay, Pete? Kinda zoned out there,” Wade said, and Peter realised that they had parked at the mall while he was spaced out.

“I —” _am Spider-Man; it’s easy you idiot!_ Peter mentally chastised himself as he hesitated. “I just realised I should probably get something for May while we’re here. Don’t know when I’ll get another chance…”

“Oh, good!” Wade said, hopping out of the car, and Peter hastily joined him. “I wanted to buy her something, too, so maybe you can help me!”

“Oh, uh, you don’t have to do that,” Peter said awkwardly as they headed inside. “We’re not really big on gifts in our family, it was just kinda one of those traditions we mostly overlooked? She’s not, like, super materialistic, I just get her something small every year to say I appreciate and love her, y’know?”

“I appreciate and love her too, so there,” Wade said, and poked his tongue out.

“Fine, you dork,” Peter conceded with a grin, “Ellie’s presents first, though.”

Wade ended up copping out and buying Ellie the latest Starkpad, as well as a Starkpod to take to school so she could ‘tune out the idiots’ as she referred to her classmates, according to Wade. He also managed to find some Spider-Man and Deadpool bobble heads and bought one of each. Peter, without thinking too hard, bought a Deadpool one for himself and immediately regretted it because Wade was _radiating_ smugness.

They stopped at a few more stores, picking up bits and pieces that they agreed Ellie might like, until they couldn’t physically carry anymore bags without something breaking, so they dropped the presents at the car.

“You think it’s too much, don’t you?” Wade asked nervously as Peter carefully packed the bags and boxes in the trunk of the car.

“No,” Peter smiled at him, “you just want to make her first Christmas and birthday with you special. I think it’s sweet.”

Wade crinkled his nose, and Peter thought he could make out a faint blush showing through the scars on his face.

“What was your first Christmas like with May?” Wade asked as they headed back into the busy mall to look for something for the woman in question. Peter wondered how much May had told Wade before Peter had even been officially introduced to the man.

“It was really strange,” Peter admitted carefully. He didn’t really like talking about it, but if it might help Wade with Ellie in any way, he was willing to try. “It still didn’t seem real, then — my parents had only d-died in October. I hadn’t known May and Ben that well, we hardly ever saw them, and then suddenly I was living with them, and celebrating the holidays with them.

“I was a bit younger than Ellie at the time, so I kind of understand what she’s going through? But different people adjust differently… And in my stupid kid mind, May and Ben were trying to replace my parents, trying to make me forget about them. It never hit me how much they sacrificed for me, everything they did for me until Ben —” Peter cut himself off here, still feeling stupid and guilty all these years later.

He blinked hard a couple of times, and looked up at Wade who was watching him carefully. They had come to a stop in the middle of the walkway, so Peter grabbed Wade’s arm and pulled him off to the side so they weren’t blocking the path. For once, Wade seemed at a loss for words, so Peter kept talking.

“I don’t know what goes on between you and Ellie behind closed doors, but I can see the way she looks at you — she loves you already Wade. So much. And she trusts you, and even though she sasses you she still respects you. You were thrust into this situation just as suddenly as she was, so don’t forget to give yourself some credit too; you wouldn’t have known the first thing about parenting, but here you are doing your best, and asking for advice when you need it… I think that’s all anyone can ever do,” Peter shrugged, looking up into Wade’s deep brown eyes.

Wade remained silent, staring back at Peter thoughtfully, and Peter worried that he might’ve broken the ex-merc — he’d never heard the man silent for more than three consecutive seconds in the _years_ that he’d known him. Peter saw something shift in the scarred man’s expression, something deep and genuine he had to look away. He realised they were standing outside of a jewellery store, and gazed at the sparkling necklaces and earrings in the display windows.

“I think May would like those earrings,” Peter deflected, pointing at a pair of opal studs encircled with gold. The price was mid-range, and Peter thought he could swing these and maybe some perfume or a fancy candle. He saw Wade minutely shake his head out of the corner of his eye, before the taller man shifted to look in the window as well.

“Oh, there’s a matching necklace — should I get that, and you can get the earrings?” Wade asked, uncertain.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Peter smiled, and lead the way into the store.

After they’d made their purchases, Wade dragged them to Anthropologie and stole Peter’s candle idea, so Peter decided to buy some perfume for his aunt while they were there.

Satisfied with their purchases, they stopped at Target to get wrapping paper, tape, gift tags, and ribbons, and then they left the mall to make the trip back to Wade’s apartment block. Halfway through the drive, when there was a lull in conversation and the radio filled the silence, Wade quietly thanked Peter, keeping his eyes on the road.

“For what?” Peter frowned, bewildered at the sudden thanks.

“Just for bein’ you, Petey,” Wade smiled, still not looking at him. Peter wondered if he’d done it on purpose while they were in the car so he could avoid eye contact. It didn’t really matter, Peter decided as he too looked straight out of the windshield.

“Thanks for being you, too, Wade,” he replied softly, both of them leaving a lot unsaid but understood anyway.

Back at the apartment block they stubbornly carried everything between them upstairs in one trip, and piled the bags and boxes on Wade’s couch. The apartment was a mirror opposite to May’s, the only difference being the furnishings and decorations. The first time Peter had seen the inside of the apartment, to his surprise, there weren’t any weapons laying around. He’d immediately felt guilty for not having more faith in Wade’s parenting abilities; Wade had already proven he was a concerned and capable father.

Before getting started on wrapping, they ducked next door to say a quick hello to May and Ellie — the young girl passed out on the couch while a Christmas movie played quietly on the television, and May reading by the fireplace — before returning to Wade’s apartment where Peter had offered to help wrap the presents.

Wade, as it turned out, was terrible at gift wrapping, so Peter delegated the tasks of making hot cocoa and picking a movie while Peter actually made the presents, well, presentable. He took up residence on the floor, and allowed Wade to dictate which gifts were to be tagged from him, which ones were from Santa, and which ones were to be wrapped in the birthday paper he’d bought.

It took Peter well over an hour, and he had to reheat his untouched cocoa in the microwave when he was done, but finally he was finished. He had wrapped his own gifts for May while he was at it, and put the presents in his backpack before helping Wade hide Ellie’s gifts in Wade’s closet. They then returned to the lounge room to watch the rest of _Just Friends,_ which had been playing in the background as Peter concentrated on wrapping the presents.

“I still can’t believe you picked this movie. I took you for more of a Die Hard-style Christmas movie kinda guy, not rom-com Christmas,” Peter squinted at the television, watching as Chris struck out — _again._

“What? Everyone loves Ryan Reynolds, you can’t deny it Petey. Look at him and tell me you don’t love him,” Wade pointed at the television right as Chris grinned his charming smile.

“Okay,” Peter admitted, rolling his eyes, “He is extremely handsome, and funny, and charming, and whatever.”

“Wow, Petey, need some time to come up with a couple more adjectives there? Someone has a cru-ush,” Wade sing-songed, and Peter punched his arm without any force. Wade simply laughs at him.

“Shut up, you do too!”

“Well, _yeah,”_ Wade said, the ‘duh’ implied.

After the movie finished, Peter and Wade return to May’s apartment where Ellie is awake again and bouncing around excitedly.

“May said I can make cookies — Peter, will you bake with me? And daddy too?” She asked as soon as the door was closed behind them.

“I think she only wants your help because I told her she had to make sure the kitchen was clean after so I could cook dinner,” May smiled while Ellie pouted.

“Nuh-uh,” she whined, and Peter laughed.

“I suppose I did offer earlier, didn’t I?” Peter hummed.

Making cookies together predictably turned into Peter doing all the work while Ellie and Wade taste-tested all the ingredients ‘for quality assurance, don’t you know, Peter.’ Ellie disappeared once she’d had her fill of picking at the dough, and as Peter was getting to roll the cookies Wade caught his attention.

“You have flour on your nose,” he pointed out, and Peter immediately went cross-eyed, trying to spot it.

“I don’t see it,” he frowned, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

“Oh, it’s right —” Wade dipped his finger in the flour bag and then raised his hand to wipe the substance down Peter’s nose with a grin, “— there!”

“Thanks, Wade,” Peter said sardonically, swiping his index finger through the dough and holding it up to Wade. “Here, taste test?” He offered, smiling sweetly, and Wade’s pupils blew to saucers. Right as Wade moved forward, Peter pulled his hand back and popped the finger in his own mouth, sucking the sweetness from it. “Oops,” he mumbled smugly around the digit as Wade gave him a look of utmost betrayal.

“Hey, Peter, do you mind if — whoops!” May faltered as she entered the kitchen. Peter noticed how close he and Wade were standing and, before he had a chance to think better of his action, took a painfully obvious step back. “What’s that Ellie?” May answered a nonexistent call, looking a combination of smug and guilty as she fled the kitchen. Peter swallowed loudly in the sudden silence of the kitchen.

“Help me cut the cookies?” Peter asked, ignoring the war internally waging in his head and instead washing his hands, quite literally, of the mess he’d made.

“Sure,” Wade replied easily, also washing his hands. Wade started up his mile-a-minute chatter as they cut the cookies and lay them on sheet trays, but Peter was too deep in his own mind to pay much attention. Had he just been flirting with Wade?

He was used to Deadpool flirting with Spider-Man; that was just part and parcel of working with Deadpool. He thought back on their day — _had_ Wade been flirting with him? Or was he just being friendly? Obviously Peter had subconsciously decided that Wade _was_ flirting, and had thought it would be an _excellent_ idea to return the notion.

But maybe it had just been two friends goofing off… and if that were the case, why did it feel so awkward when May interrupted? Why had Peter needed to step away, putting distance between himself and the intimate-adjacent moment he and Wade had been sharing?

On the other hand, if they were reciprocally flirting — what did _that_ mean? Was Wade attracted to Peter? _Oh, god,_ Peter thought, _am I attracted to Wade?!_

Before he was really aware of what was happening, all the cookie dough was cut, and Wade was placing the trays in the oven and setting the timer. “You wash, I’ll dry?” Wade offered, giving Peter a curious look.

“Y-yeah,” Peter agreed hesitantly, “no injuring me this time, though,” he joked weakly. Wade gave him a guilty grin and dutifully took his place beside Peter at the sink with a tea towel in his hand. _Yep,_ Peter thought, _I’m screwed._


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of December flew by and before Peter even had time to think, he was stopping to pick up a couple of last minute gifts for Ellie and Wade on his way to May’s on Christmas Eve. Somewhere along the way, the four of them had agreed to spend Christmas together without too much planning or discussion — Peter supposed it was inevitable, really.

Ellie had also convinced Peter and May to join Wade at her school to watch the nativity play on Christmas Eve, so Peter had agreed to spend the night at May’s instead of going home and then coming back in the morning.

“Peter, you’re late,” May chided as she opened the door to let him in, his gifts stashed in his backpack on top of his pyjamas and fresh clothes for tomorrow.

“Wade isn’t here yet, either,” he grinned guiltily, giving her a kiss on the cheek and ducking to his old bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

“What on earth are you doing, Peter, we’ve got to go!” May called through the door as he quickly unpacked the presents — all of them wrapped except for the ones he had just purchased.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’ll just be a few minutes!” He replied, quickly starting to wrap the first of the remaining gifts. 

He heard a knock on the front door, and May’s footsteps retreating as she went to greet Wade — he’d had to drop Ellie off at the school in the afternoon for a final dress rehearsal, apparently, Peter half-listened to him explain with his sensitive hearing. He also heard May apologise on Peter’s behalf, stating he’d locked himself in his room as soon as he got home. Wade made an off-colour remark about Peter’s teenage years, and Peter scowled to himself as May agreed with a laugh.

He hurriedly finished wrapping the presents and stacked them up to carry out to the Christmas tree to join the rest that lay in waiting.

“Hey, Petey-Pie,” Wade grinned, “we were just talkin’ about you!”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Peter rolled his eyes _almost_ fondly as he placed the presents under the tree. “Okay, sorry, I’m ready to go now.”

They all drove together in Wade’s car, although Peter had given up residency of the front seat for May, making it difficult for him to participate in conversation from the back seat. Wade kept sending him little secretive glances through the rear view mirror, though, so Peter didn’t mind too much.

At the school, they were ushered into the gym where seats had been set up in front of a small stage that had been decorated with glitter and tinsel. They were shown to their seats by students, a few rows from the front, with May on the aisle, then Wade and Peter.

“Ellie says the play is extremely dumb,” Wade muttered to Peter, “fair warning.”

“She thinks most things are dumb,” Peter pointed out, unconvinced, “I’m sure it’ll be great.”

He was wrong. So very wrong.

After a brief introduction thanking the teachers for writing and directing the play, the overhead lights were turned out and a spotlight lit up the stage. In Peter’s opinion, the kids all did great, seemingly remembering their lines and interacting well with each other... but the _story._

It was an awkward combination of the story of Jesus Christ, and Santa having to deliver his gifts on Christmas Eve. Obviously, the logical place for the teachers who wrote the play to take it was Baby Jesus being the gift that Santa was delivering to Mary and Joseph. Santa encountered obvious obstacles in trying to deliver this most precious cargo — such as a snow storm. In Bethlehem. Right. Meanwhile Mary and Joseph fretted that if they couldn’t find a place to settle for the night, Santa wouldn’t be able to find them.

It really sent a lot of mixed messages about Christianity, Paganism, the idea of Santa Claus, and human biology, but the final scene showed a happy ending in a little barn where Santa finally gave his gift to Mary and Joseph, and Ellie was one of the Three Wise Men — “Three Wise _Individuals,”_ she had scowled when revealing her role to Peter — who delivered gifts to Baby Jesus.

“I don’t understand,” Wade whispered to Peter, “If Jesus is Mary and Joseph’s gift, why does the _gift_ warrant _more_ gifts? Seems like a hat on top of a hat…”

“It’s best not to think about it,” Peter replied sagely as all of the children burst into song for a musical finale, with the girl who played Mary holding the doll that symbolised Jesus aloft Simba-style as they all warbled _All I Want For Christmas Is You._

The crowd stood and burst into applause at the end of the song and Wade cheered proudly on Ellie, who looked most displeased behind her fake beard. The children started making their way off the stage to find their parents, and Ellie came running up to where they were waiting in their seats, ripping off her costume as she went.

“I told you it was awful,” she said reproachfully, leaning across May to shove her costume at her father for him to hold.

“If the Wise Men wanted to follow a shining star, they’d should’ve just followed you,” Wade grinned in response, and Ellie heavily rolled her eyes.

“Can we leave, _now?_ I’m meant to be on holidays, I don’t want to see these jerk-offs any longer than I have to,” she nodded towards a cluster of her classmates, and Peter bit back a laugh. Wade looked like he was doing the same.

“Alright, let’s go,” May stood, allowing Wade and Peter out of the aisle. “I think it was excellent, though, Ellie, I especially enjoyed your rendition of Mariah Carey,” she smiled.

“May,” Ellie whined, “let’s just forget tonight ever happened, ‘kay? Even Peter hated it — just look at his face — and _he_ likes _High School Musical.”_

“Oh, yeah? Well if you hate _HSM_  so much, why did you leave it on when they aired it on _Disney Channel_ last week? You could’ve watched _Nick_ instead,” Peter retorted, and Ellie poked her tongue out at him. He reciprocated.

Wade laughed at both of them, but May was glaring disapprovingly, so they left the gym and headed back to the car. “It wasn’t _that_ bad,” Peter quietly told Ellie. “The acting was better than _HSM,_ at least.”

“Sure, sure,” she grinned, taking Peter’s hand in her left, and Wade’s hand in her right. They walked like that all the way to the car, Ellie not letting go of Peter’s hand as she followed him into the backseat, forcing him to slide over to the opposite side.

The ride home was quiet because Ellie was nodding off on Peter’s shoulder, and no one wanted to disturb her. When they arrived in the garage, Peter hopped out and swept her up into a bridal carry to take her upstairs, not realising an average, scrawny college student like himself probably wouldn’t be able to carry an eight-year-old with such ease until he saw Wade’s raised brow.

“Damn, Petey, didn’t know you was packin’ muscles under all them ugly-ass sweaters you wear,” Wade whispered with a grin, following him up the stairs with May bringing up the rear.

“May, I’ll just put Ellie to bed and then we can watch _Love Actually,_ okay?” Peter whispered as they arrived on their floor. It was a tradition of his and May’s to watch the movie on Christmas Eve, because it had been her favourite Christmas movie for as long as Peter had known her. ~~It was Peter’s, too.~~ Peter generally didn’t care for Christmas movies.

“Actually, I’m pretty tired, so I’m just going to head to bed,” May said with a twinkle in her eye, unlocking the front door. “Maybe you and Wade can watch it together next door.”

“Oh, yeah, I love that movie! It’s got, like, half the cast of _Harry Potter,”_ Wade grinned, opening his own door for Peter. “G’night, May, I’ll walk Peter home before ten!”

“Wade, it’s already ten thirty,” May shook her head fondly.

“Fine, then you might not get him back at all,” Wade winked, and Peter blushed as May laughed and went inside her apartment with a whispered, “‘Night, boys.”

Peter entered Wade’s dark apartment and carefully took Ellie to her bedroom, manoeuvring her into bed without waking her up. Wade, who had followed Peter, pressed a soft kiss to Ellie’s forehead and tucked her in tightly, slipping her Spider-Man plush under the covers with her. They crept out of her room and carefully shut the door behind them.

“So, hot cocoa?” Wade offered quietly with a small smile.

“Yes, please,” Peter replied, “I’ll set up the movie.”

Wade disappeared into the kitchen as Peter found the movie on Wade’s Xbox and downloaded it. It was just finishing when Wade entered with two steaming mugs of cocoa, fluffy mini marshmallows floating on top.

“Thanks,” Peter smiled as he was handed his mug, and Wade settled on the couch next to him, a respectable but entirely too large gap between them.

“This movie is so fucking awkward and adorable,” Wade cooed as John and Judy dry humped on screen.

“Yeah, it’s the best,” Peter agreed, before hastily amending his statement, “I mean, it’s alright.”

“Don’t worry,” Wade smirked with a wink, “I won’t tell anyone you’ve got a soft spot for Christmas rom-coms. I’d hate to ruin your bad-boy rep.”

“Thanks,” Peter grinned.

Halfway through the movie, Ellie’s door is swung open and she stumbled into the lounge room and crawled into a ball beside Wade resting her head on his lap.

“Wha’d I miss?” She mumbled through a yawn.

 _“Mainly scary how bad the writing is.”_ Jamie said as he tells Aurelia about his book.

“Kinda like this fic, am I right, Authorino?” Wade said loudly, looking at the wall between his and May’s apartment. Peter decided to ignore him — and it will keep happening if you keep sassing me, Wilson. “And, hey, Ellie, you can’t just sneak out here and plant yourself on my lap like the cutest kitty in the world! You’re meant to be asleep! You know Santa doesn’t deliver to kiddies who are awake!”

“Dad — Santa isn’t real, we’ve been through this,” she sighed, sounding extremely sleepy.

“Shh, Ellie, your delirious with exhaustion,” Wade covered her mouth with his big palm, and then yelped. “Did you just bite me?” He demanded, before looking over at Peter, horrified — “She just bit me!”

“You’ll heal,” Peter rolled his eyes, smirking at Wade’s outrage. “Hey, Ellie, why don’t we leave some cookies and milk out for Santa?” He offered. The young girl sat up and glared at him.

“Not you too, Petey! You’re a man of science! You know Santa ain’t real,” she said with conviction.

Peter leaned across Wade, sparing the man a glance before whispering to Ellie, “I think we should humour your father — he seems a bit fragile at the moment.” Peter grinned, pleased with himself Wade let out a theatrical gasp, and Ellie burst into a fit of giggles.

“Okay, okay, for Daddy,” Ellie agreed, clambering off the couch and skipping to the kitchen. Peter launched himself off the couch to follow.

“Does _‘Santa’_ prefer shortbread or gingerbread cookies?” Ellie asked, giving Peter a pointed look as she hesitated over the two containers filled with the cookies.

“Gingerbread, please,” Peter grinned, and Ellie put some cookies on a plate before grabbing the milk from the fridge and pouring a glass to add to the tray.

“Right,” she said, taking the tray to the lounge room and putting it on a little table between the Christmas tree and the empty fire place — Wade preferring central heating to an open flame with a child in the house — and glanced between Peter and Wade. “Happy now? Enjoy your midnight snacks, I’m going back to bed. This movie is dumb and glorifies stalking and general asshole-ish behaviour in relationships, so have fun with that.”

She crisply returned to her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

“Are you sure she’s only eight?” Peter stared, bemusedly, at the closed door.

“I check her birth certificate daily to reassure myself,” Wade replied gravely. Peter huffed our a laugh, and rejoined Wade on the couch, taking care to sit so they were pressed against each other. He felt Wade’s eyes on him for a moment, but he kept his focus on the movie, a small smile playing on his face.

The rest of the movie passed in an easy silence, and Peter certainly wasn’t smiling like an idiot at all of the happy endings, thank you very much. Wade yawned and stretched, checking his watch as Peter turned the television off.

“Oh, hey, it’s after midnight! Merry Christmas, Petey,” he grinned.

“Merry Christmas, Wade,” Peter smiled softly. “Want some help bringing out the presents, Santa?” He offered.

“Actually, yeah, thanks,” Wade stood and headed to his bedroom.

They quickly moved all the gifts from Wade’s closet to underneath the Christmas tree, as well as placing a few in the stocking Wade had insisted Ellie hang above the fireplace. When that was done, Peter grabbed the plate of cookies and glass of milk and sat on the edge of the couch, where Wade joined him.

“What time should me and El come around in the morning?” Wade asked, taking a cookie and dunking it in the milk.

“Whenever is fine,” Peter replied, copying Wade. “May has plenty of food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and will be more than happy to see you guys bright and early, after Ellie’s finished unwrapping her presents.”

Wade went to double-dip his cookie, and Peter tried to slap his hand away with a reproachful glare; Wade just smirked shamelessly and dunked it anyway.

“Child,” Peter accused, but he couldn’t keep the fondness from his tone.

They shared the rest of the cookies evenly, and Peter helped Wade take all of their accumulated plates and cups to the sink.

“Just leave ‘em, I’ll clean up after Christmas is done,” Wade said.

“Yeah, okay,” Peter replied around a yawn. “I should probably head home to bed. Big day tomorrow, May’d kill me if I fell asleep while she’s trying to get dinner sorted.”

“Yeah, of course,” Wade said, walking Peter to the door. “Thanks for coming to Ellie’s play tonight. Even though she was embarrassed by it, it still meant a lot to her.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it,” Peter smiled as Wade opened the door for him. He hesitated in the hallway for a moment, before leaning against the door frame and looking up at Wade. “Thanks for having me over tonight… I really —” he faltered, not knowing what it was he wanted to say. God, it seemed so easy for all those attractive British bastards; why couldn’t it be the same for him?

“Me too, Petey,” Wade replied softly, like he knew what Peter was thinking. Maybe he did. It would make the whole ‘secret identity’ thing a lot easier — which was still weighing heavily on Peter’s conscience.

They were having a moment; Peter knew it. If this was one of those Christmas movies, one of them — hell, maybe even both — would lean forward and close the small distance between them. Peter couldn’t help drop his eyes to Wade’s chapped lips and wonder what they would feel like against his own. Hot and rough? Warm and soft? He sighed, and took a step back. He wouldn’t find out tonight.

“Goodnight, Wade,” he said remorsefully.

“‘Night, Peter,” Wade replied. Peter slipped into May’s apartment with one last glance at the scarred man, who looked almost as disappointed as Peter felt.

Peter turned off the lights as he walked through the apartment and to his bedroom, feeling guilty. They had both wanted to kiss, Peter could _feel_ it, but he’d broken the tension all because he was keeping this huge, ridiculous secret from Wade. He had known he needed to tell Wade for a while, now, but he just couldn’t work up the nerve. He’d kept this secret almost entirely for seven years, it wasn’t just something he could blurt out over tacos — though Mexican certainly would’ve buttered Wade up.

And Spider-Man wasn’t just Peter’s secret — Peter was Spider-man’s secret, too. Spider-Man had known Deadpool for _years;_ how would Wade feel when he found out that Spider-Man had just been some teen barely out of high school when they met? And Peter had recognised Wade immediately; how would Wade react when he realised that Peter had been lying to him by omission the whole time they’d been spending time together?

Peter stripped out of his clothes and hesitated before pulling his pyjamas out of his backpack. Instead of getting them out, he ripped the velcro opening of the secret compartment and pulled out his Spidey suit. His mind was too busy to sleep, now, thanks to his moment with Wade, and crime didn’t take a night off for the holidays, so why should he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, so I rewatched Love Actually to help me with this scene and I kind of realised that it’s a pretty misogynistic movie... I don’t like it as much as I used to...


	6. Chapter 6

Peter abruptly awoke to a _bang_ as his door was flung open, and suddenly his bed was shaking as Ellie shouted, “Wake up Peter! Up! It’s Christmas! Come on, sleepyhead!”

“Mmf,” he mumbled, peeking his head out from under the covers to peer at Ellie over the edge of the top bunk. “Time’s’it?”

“Seven!” Ellie grinned, “I woke up at six, and I’ve already opened all my presents so it’s time for you to get up so everyone else can, too!”

“‘Kay,” he yawned, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed before jumping down. “Lay on, Macduff.”

“Nerd,” Ellie smirked, grabbing Peter’s hand and dragging him to the lounge room, still in his pyjamas, where he met Wade and May in a similar state of dress.

May was seated on the couch next to the fireplace, looking bright and awake, and Wade was walking towards him with a smile, pushing a mug of coffee into his hands. “Morning, sunshine,” he grinned.

“Hm, service with a smile,” Peter said with an absent smile of his own, trying to absorb the caffeine by inhaling alone. When that didn’t work, he took a big gulp, ignoring the burn.

“Only for you,” Wade winked, and Peter blushed, quickly taking a seat on the arm chair next to the fire, hoping the flames would mask the red tinge to his face. If the knowing look May sent him was anything to go by — they did not.

Ellie sat herself on the floor next to the Christmas tree, where a few packages had been added since Peter went to bed last night.

“Ooh, there’s more for me!” She squealed as she started sorting through them to hand out to everyone.

“We couldn’t very well spend Christmas together without getting gifts for you, now, could we?” May smiled as Ellie cautiously held a present in her lap.

“Can I open it, please?” She asked politely.

“Of course,” May laughed, and Ellie enthusiastically tore into the wrapping paper.

“Oh, my gosh!” Ellie squealed as a horribly patterned red-and-green sweater slipped out. ”Did you knit this, May?”

“I did,” May replied, and Peter knew that there would be two more similar packages for him and Wade somewhere under the tree. May always knitted Peter an ugly sweater for Christmas, and each year the patterns grew worse and worse as she became more hellbent on embarrassing him. He loved them, even though he knew they were ugly on purpose, and he still had every one she’d made all the way back from his first Christmas with her.

“Thanks, May, I _love_ it!” Ellie said reverently, slipping the sweater on over her pyjama shirt. She turned back to inspect the remaining presents, and dug a small box out. “This one is for ‘ _Aunt May, Love Peter x.’”_

May accepted the box from Ellie and opened it to find the earrings Peter had bought for her. She had thanked him profusely, scolded him for spending too much, and finally took out her current earrings and replaced them with the new ones.

The morning continued like that, gifts being swapped along with gratitude. Wade and Peter had indeed received sweaters, and promptly pulled them on — at which point May had called for a ceasefire in swapping gifts so they could take a family photo.

Peter grabbed his camera out of his backpack and set it on a timer before placing it on the mantle above the fire.

“Alright, everyone,” he said, gesturing for them to join him in front of the camera. Wade hoisted Ellie up to sit on his hip so that she was the right height for the camera, and she wrapped one arm around her father’s neck, and slung the other around Peter’s. Peter wrapped one arm around Ellie and Wade, and tucked May beneath his other. “Smile,” he instructed as the warning flash went off, though he needn’t have bothered — everyone had been permanently grinning all morning.

They went back to swapping gifts — Peter, among other things, had bought Wade the box set of all the _Star Wars_ movies and spin-offs and the new _Star Trek_ movies for Ellie, who hadn’t actually seen them despite her love of _The Original Series._ They had both been extremely excited, and it had taken a combination of both May _and_ Peter’s powers of persuasion to stop them from disappearing to marathon the movies before they’d even finished with presents.

After the floor around the tree was empty, Peter began cleaning up all the torn wrapping paper, but May sat him down again, and turned to Ellie. “Can you please go and grab that special present for Peter out of my bedroom that you and your father definitely know nothing about?” May asked her pointedly, and Ellie’s grin widened before she shot off.

“Oh, jeez,” Peter said, getting a bad feeling. He glanced between his aunt and Wade who were both smirking suspiciously. “What did you get me?”

Ellie returned moments later and gently handed Peter a heavy, rectangle box.

“Oh, no,” Peter whispered, as he unwrapped the package to reveal the latest Starkphone, new in the box. “Nope, no way. I’m not accepting this.”

“It’s rude to refuse a gift, Peter,” May said smugly.

“You can’t — this must have cost —” Peter was struggling with his words.

“Don’t worry; there was a very generous, _anonymous_ benefactor who was willing to split the cost,” May shrugged.

Peter knew that May wouldn’t have been able to afford him a phone even one tenth of the cost of a Starkphone, so he turned to Wade. “You have to return this, there’s _no way_ I can accept a gift like this!”

“Wasn’t me,” Wade said easily, “and since there’s no way to prove who actually helped pay for it, I guess you’re just gonna have to accept it.”

“Just be more careful with this one, and for goodness sake — maybe use it to, oh, I don’t know, _call me_ every once in a while,” May reprimanded.

“I —” Peter swallowed, knowing he couldn’t very well fight the two most stubborn people in his life. “Thank you. Really, thank you both so much,” he said quietly, looking down at the box sitting heavy in his lap.

“Alright, breakfast,” May said briskly, rubbing her hands together and standing. “Peter, I need you on bacon and sausages; Wade — you’re on pancakes. Ellie, can you please set the table? And I’ll make the eggs, and the coffee.”

Everyone happily went to their stations and started cooking up enough food to feed a small army. After the food was demolished, and the kitchen tidied, May conceded to letting Wade play _A New Hope_ in the lounge room, while Ellie set up her tablet and Starkpod, and Peter set up his new phone. It took him a while to explore all the new features; his old phone had been a few years — and upgrades — behind. He still felt incredibly guilty that Wade and May had spent so much money on him, but he knew that he needed a new phone and wouldn’t have been able to pay for one on his own.

They spent the rest of the day switching between lazing around in the lounge room, cooking, and eating — and at some stage everyone had swapped their pyjamas out for regular clothes, although the sweaters remained. Ellie had drifted off to sleep at one point, the excitement of the day too much for the young girl, so Peter had carried her to lay on the bottom bunk in his bedroom so she could get some peace and quiet while she napped.

After dinner, everyone was a little quieter and more subdued than they had been all day, and suddenly the atmosphere was suffocating.

“I’m gonna go down to the garage and grab some more firewood,” Peter said after the dishes were done and everyone was settled in the lounge room. He grabbed the wicker basket from beside the fireplace and made his hasty retreat downstairs to the communal supply.

The garage was draughty and freezing, but it helped to clear Peter’s head. He dropped the basket and pressed his back against the wall, before sliding down to sit on the cold, hard concrete. He loved spending the holidays with May, and having Wade and Ellie there was wonderful, too, but sometimes it was just too much, and still not enough. Sometimes he felt oppressively alone, and sometimes he was claustrophobic and needed space.

He missed his parents, who he hadn’t spent enough time with. He missed Ben, who he hadn’t appreciated enough.

He craned his neck back so his head was resting against the wall, closed his eyes, and focused on keeping his breathing even. He didn’t need to have a panic attack, cold and alone in the basement on Christmas. Before he’d properly calmed down, he heard footsteps approaching and internally sighed.

He cracked his eyes open and watched Wade approach him through his lashes. “Busted,” he sighed. “May send you?”

“Nope,” Wade said, sitting next to Peter. “Was worried about you. Thought you might wanna, I don’t know, talk. Or, y’know, just not be alone.”

“Not being alone is good,” Peter said quietly. To add to his melancholy, his thoughts once more strayed to how for the last month he’d done little but lie to Wade. “Do you ever just dig yourself so completely and thoroughly into such a narrow, deep hole that you can’t get yourself out?”

Wade must’ve sensed Peter’s mood, because he didn’t make a lewd joke. “All the time,” he replied.

“How do you get out of it?” Peter asked, opening his eyes properly and turning his head to meet Wade’s concerned gaze.

“Not in any healthy way,” he admitted, frowning.

“Yeah,” Peter said softly, “sounds about right.”

“Maybe if you tell me what’s goin’ on, we can come up with a more productive solution,” Wade offered, and Peter chewed his lip. It would be so easy to tell him right now… but it could ruin Christmas. He didn’t want to ruin things just yet — he always does eventually, but not today… not on Christmas.

“No, I can figure it out on my own,” he decided. It’s what he’d always had to do. He’d chosen this path, now he just had to own up to it.

“You’re — you ain’t in danger or anythin’, are you, Peter?” Wade asked sounding strained, and Peter didn’t like the sound of his full name coming from Wade. The dumb nicknames had grown on him, and now his real name just sounded sad.

“The only danger in my life is myself, and my Parker Luck — which I’m actually beginning to believe is merely the consequence of generations of poor decision making,” he admitted.

“Could be,” Wade chuckled quietly and stood, holding out his hand to help Peter up. “We should get back upstairs — I think Ellie’s getting ready for bed. It’s been a long day for her, and I’m sure she’s probably missing her mother a bit…”

“Yeah,” Peter said, allowing Wade to pull him upright, “holidays can be like that, unfortunately.”

They piled the wood into the basket, and Wade carried it upstairs for Peter. Back in the apartment, Ellie’s eyes were drooping as she tried to pay attention to the movie, and May was yawning in her arm chair.

“I’m going to head to bed,” May said, slowly standing and stretching, “Wade, Ellie — feel free to stay as long as you want. Peter — are you spending the night again?”

“No, thanks,” he replied. Newspapers printed year round, which meant he was back at work bright and early in the morning, since he’d accidentally let slip to his boss that college was on break.

“Thanks for having us, May-Flower,” Wade said, walking over and giving her a hug. Peter wondered for a moment what it would be like to be wrapped in those big, strong arms, but mentally snapped himself away from the thought as he realised he was staring. Wade moved over to the couch and gently brushed a lock of hair out of Ellie’s face. “Come on, missy, why don’t we head home and watch one last Christmas movie before we pretend they don’t exist for twelve months?”

“Okay,” she agreed, visibly brightening. She stood and gave May a hug as well, “Thanks for my presents and my sweater, May. I’m gonna wear it all year, even in Summer!”

“I’ll hold you to that, even when it reaches the mid eighties,” May grinned, bending down to kiss the top of Ellie’s head. Ellie laughed and gathered all of her gifts, before giving Peter a quick hug and dragging Wade next door. Wade looked for a second like he wanted to say something to Peter, but then he was gone.

“So?” May asked, still grinning after Wade and Ellie had shut the front door behind them.

“So what?” Peter asked wearily, packing up his own presents and putting them in his backpack.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on with you and Wade?”

“I thought you were going to bed,” Peter reminded his aunt, who merely rolled her eyes in response. “There’s nothing to tell. Well, I mean, I do have to tell Wade about Spider-Man, but…”

“Oh, Peter,” May sighed disapprovingly. “I can’t believe he hasn’t figured it out yet, you aren’t as subtle as you think you are.”

“Wha — hey!” Peter said indignantly, and May laughed. She walked over and leaned up to kiss his forehead.

“Goodnight, Peter, you strange little spiderling,” she said fondly before going into her bedroom and closing the door. “And Merry Christmas!” She poked her head back out with a smile.

“‘Night, May, love you,” Peter told her, before heading to the kitchen and grabbing a few of the leftover containers May had left for him in the fridge. He added them to his backpack, and took one last sweeping glance around the apartment to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. He hadn’t, though Wade had — the open _Star Wars_ box set was still sitting next to the BluRay player, but after a moment’s hesitation, Peter decided not to take it next door. He didn’t want to disturb Wade and Ellie.

He made his way to the front door, only to be startled by a knock as he was reaching to open it. He took a moment to breathe, and opened the door to find Wade standing there, wearing a guilty grin. “Sorry, I left my DVDs,” he apologised.

“Right, yeah,” Peter said, doubling back to grab the box, flicking through to make sure all the disks were in their places after their marathon attempt. He handed the box to Wade, who was waiting in the doorway, shifting side to side.

“Oh look — who hung that there?” Wade blurted, pointing up at the door frame above them.

Peter looked up. Above his head was a sprig of mistletoe, taped to the wooden paneling. Before he’d even had a chance to take in the white berries, Wade pressed a soft kiss to Peter’s cheek and ducked back into his own apartment, cackling, “It’s not the only thing that’s hung!”

“Damnit, Wade,” Peter whispered, but he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. He closed May’s door and headed home, barely even noticing the freezing night as fresh snowflakes fell from the sky.

Wade had kissed him! Kinda. _I’ll tell him before New Years,_ Peter thought to himself, _definitely._

But, the next day Peter received a message on his swanky new phone — May telling him that Wade would be gone on business for a few days, and asking if Peter could help out with minding Ellie a few nights. Of course he said yes, though he was disappointed he wouldn’t be able to see Wade and tell him.


	7. Chapter 7

Ellie had been irritable all week, and Peter was definitely concerned. Both May and Peter had tried talking to her to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it, but every time they’d broached the subject with her she excused herself and hid in Peter’s bedroom.

It was now New Years Eve, and Peter was counting down the hours until Wade was due home, around eleven pm. May was at work, so Peter was alone with Ellie, and he had agreed to let her stay up until her father returned. They were half-watching some made-for-tv movie, Ellie more focussed on her tablet, and Peter internally debating wether or not to try talking to Ellie one last time before Wade got back.

“Hey, Ellie, if we go up to the roof we might be able to see the Queensboro fireworks at nine,” he offered at eight-forty-five, deciding he would broach the subject again.

“Okay,” she said unenthusiastically, locking her tablet and gently placing it on the coffee table.

“I’ll make some cocoa, you grab some blankets, and then we’ll go up and wait, okay?” Peter said, standing and heading to the kitchen. Ellie made a noise of agreement from the lounge room.

Five minutes later, they were bundled up on a pair of old sun lounges on the empty roof, facing toward the bridge. The bridge itself wasn’t visible, but Peter knew from experience that the fireworks were.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right Ellie?” Peter said after a few minutes of silence. The girl visibly tensed. “It can just stay between you and me, I won’t tell May or your father anything you say to me that you don’t want them to know.”

“Right,” she said uncertainly.

“So do you want to tell me why you’ve been upset all week?” Peter asked gently, and she looked at him through the steam of her cocoa for a moment. “Is it about your mother?” Peter prompted.

“What?” Ellie snorted, “No! She was selfish, and mean, and she left me.”

“Not on purpose —” Peter tried, but Ellie interrupted him.

“She took the drugs, didn’t she?” She asked bluntly. “It wasn’t a one time thing. The day she told me about my father, and gave me his number in case anything ever happened… I wanted to call him right away. But I was too scared, because I thought he wouldn’t want me like my mom didn’t. And then I’d have two parents that hated me.”  
  
“Ellie, she didn’t —”

“No, no, you wanted me to talk, so I’m talking, alright?” Ellie cut him off again and levelled him with a glare. Peter nodded. “But my dad is great, right? He loves me, and takes care of me, and spends time with me. But then he goes away for days at a time, and I know his job is dangerous, and I just… I can’t help but wonder — what if…?”

“What if he doesn’t come back?” Peter asked, and Ellie nodded, her eyes shining. Peter chewed on his lip for a moment, wondering how to explain this to Ellie, wondering what Wade had told the girl about his work and himself. “Ellie, your dad is special. He’s strong, and clever, and so brave. More importantly than that, though, he loves you, more than maybe you realise. That’s what brings him home. He might come home injured or tired, he might leave you with May or myself for a few extra hours while he recovers from his job, but the reason he comes back is you, and he will always come back to you.”

Ellie sniffed, and Peter pulled her mug from her hands and set it on the ground with his beside it. He moved to sit next to her on the lounger, and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her as a few quiet tears slipped down her face.

“You really think he’ll always come back?” Ellie whispered.

“Yep,” Peter said certainly, “like a bad cough. You may think he’s gone, but he’ll be back and acting up again as though he never left.” He smiled when this pulled a giggle out of Ellie.

“Please don’t tell him I’ve been silly and crying over him,” she asked, looking up at Peter with her big, brown eyes.

“You’re not silly, you’re just worried,” Peter said, smoothing her hair out of her face. “But I won’t tell. He’d be just as likely to make fun of you as he would be to comfort you.”

Ellie laughed again, and agreed with Peter as fireworks started lighting up over Queens. They silently watched the pyrotechnics together, until he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He wrestled it out, trying to make sure he didn’t displace Ellie, and frowned at his phone as he read the message from May.

_Just got word from Wade — his flight was delayed and he won’t be home until the morning. I’m really sorry, Pete, can you stay with Ellie until I get home around 3?_

He sent off a quick reply telling her that was fine — but he was worried about telling Ellie, coming off the heels of their previous conversation.

The fireworks display finished, and Ellie looked over her shoulder at Peter. “What’s wrong?”

“Hm?” Peter looked up from his phone. “Oh, your dad’s flight was pushed back by a few hours, but don’t worry; he’ll be here in the morning.”

“‘Cause he always comes back, right?” Ellie said uncertainly.

“Always,” Peter agreed with a smile, and Ellie looked relieved. “How about we go downstairs and finish off that movie we weren’t really watching?”

“Yeah,” Ellie agreed, wriggling off Peter’s lap and picking up the two mugs of cocoa.

They did indeed watch some more of the film, and Ellie seemed a lot happier and relaxed than she’d been all week. Shortly after eleven, Ellie took herself to bed, and Peter played around on his laptop for a while, trying to get some of his assigned holiday work for his course load done.

Mostly he just thought about Wade. He had it all figured out — how he was going to tell him. He had to do it in a way that would leave no question that dorky college student Peter Parker was actually the webslinging hero, so instead of Peter just coming right out and admitting it he was going to swing up to Wade one night through the week — Peter had no doubts that Wade would ask May to mind Ellie at least one night; it had been far too long since Deadpool had hit the streets of New York with Spider-Man — and then he would simply take off his mask.

Simple. Right. Like it wouldn’t lead to Wade being angry that Peter had kept this huge secret for him while Wade had bared everything about himself and Ellie. Peter knew he really should have said something that first night, before he let this get too far. Hindsight, and all that.

Before Peter had even realised how much time had passed, May was letting herself in through the front door, and scolding Peter for still being awake at this hour.

“May, when do you think I’m swinging around the city, trying to help people?” He asked her with a raised brown, and she looked a little sheepish.

“I try not to think about it,” she admitted. “How was Ellie?” She asked nervously. She had been worried about the girl, too.

“I got her to talk to me,” Peter replied, closing his laptop and slipping it into his backpack. “I think she’s okay now.”

He stood up to leave, and gave May a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re not staying?” May asked, surprised.

“No, I was just waiting for you to get home. I don’t really want to see Wade in the morning, if I’m being honest… there’s something Spider-Man needs to tell him,” Peter sighed, and May reached up to gently pat his cheek.

“You’re a good boy, Peter, and don’t worry — Wade could never be mad at you,” she smirked.

“Yeah,” Peter rolled his eyes, “Right. We’ll see. Goodnight, May, I’ll message you through the week.”

“See that you do, honey,” May said warningly as she let him out.

“Oh, Happy New Year,” Peter said as May was closing the door.

“Happy New Year Peter,” May smiled, “now get home to bed, young man.”

 

* * *

 

Peter spent most of New Year’s Day puttering around his apartment in a heightened state of anxiety. He texted May to make sure that Wade had picked Ellie up, and she told him that he had, though he had apologetically asked May to mind her again tonight so he could ‘take a quick local job.’

Good, Peter thought, _I’ll probably see him tonight, then._

Around four in the afternoon, Peter couldn’t take just sitting around and waiting anymore, so he suited up and went out looking for trouble.

The problem was — among the many, many issues of Peter’s life — that it was New Years Day, a public holiday, and there was a pretty bad snow storm rumbling around town. So, with many of the stores closed, very few were willing to venture outside, and those who were hurried from A to B without any fuss. So Peter’s afternoon was quiet.

He was sitting on the structure underneath a wooden water tower atop an apartment block as the last light drained from the sky, when saw Deadpool’s mask pop up over the side of the building. _This is it,_ he braced himself.

“Hey, Wade,” he said cautiously.

“Hey Spidey! Man, long time, no see, huh? But I promise I’ve been good! I was just gone for a week helping SHIELD out in Mumbai,” Wade said excitedly.

“You were helping SHIELD?” Peter asked, easily distracted. “Since when do you work for them?”

“‘With,’ Spidey, I work _with_ them. The distinction is extremely important to me,” Wade said cheerfully, sitting beside Peter under the shelter of the water tower. “Hey, I kinda have a weird favour to ask, and, like, I know you don’t owe me or anything, and you definitely can say no, I just thought I’d try because, well…”

“Go on,” Peter urged, his intentions momentarily forgotten because Wade seemed nervous which was actually impossible.

“Well, it’s Ellie’s birthday on Sunday, and she’s a huge fan of you, and we were gonna do just a casual dinner for her because I thought it would be a really bad idea for her to have a party with her school friends at my place, I think their parents would all flip if they saw someone like me tryin’a organise a party for a dozen kids, and she says she doesn’t really like the kids at her school, anyway, not that they’re any worse than her old school, and I was thinkin’ that maybe you could come and meet her because she’d really just love that, but you can honestly say no, I know you got a lot’a kids lookin’ up to you in the city and you don’t have time to go and visit every single —”

“Wade, I’d be happy to come, if you really want me there. I’d hate to steal her spotlight on her birthday, though,” he added, concerned, before frowning thoughtfully, “or yours. Deadpool is her father, after all.”

“Don’t worry, Spidey, I’m confident she loves me more than she loves you,” Wade grinned beneath his mask, and Peter fondly rolled his eyes. “Man, she will be so stoked to see you! I talked to May Parker — she’s gonna come, and she said she’d make sure that Peter is gonna be there too. It’s on Sunday night, which is usually when he has dinner with May anyways —”

Peter’s heart froze when he realised what a stupid mistake he’d made, Wade rambling on outside of his focus. Spider-Man had agreed to going to the birthday dinner, but he hadn’t even considered the fact that Peter might’ve been asked to go! Oh, god, Peter and Spider-Man couldn’t _both_ go to Ellie’s birthday dinner, _unless..._

Okay, this was fine, this just gave Peter the perfect opportunity to segue into revealing his identity. He mentally shook his panic away, and then noticed that he’d been sitting alone in silence for god knows how long. Next to him was a knife stabbed into the wooden beam, skewering a note scrawled in messy purple crayon.

_You zoned out and I got bored/hungry. I’m taking the week off to spend with the kid, but I’ll hopefully see you on Sunday!_

Then there was Wade’s address, at least twenty ‘xo’s, and a couple of childish unicorn drawings.

“Holy shiitake mushrooms,” Peter grumbled to himself. He’d managed to avoid telling Deadpool, yet again. If he weren’t so annoyed with himself he’d be impressed.

Ahe folded up the note and tucked it into the waistband of his suit, he heard a call for help nearby, and swung into action. He didn’t have the presence of mind for witty banter as he quickly took out a group of four perps trying to mug a young couple. He webbed up the criminals and told the couple to call the police, before going back on his not-so-merry way.

Deadpool was going to be out of commission for the week, so Spider-Man wouldn’t have any opportunities to tell Wade his identity before Sunday. Peter was back at college this week, and had quite a few shifts scheduled at the Bugle, too, so it would make it difficult, although not entirely impossible, to get to Queens to speak to Wade.

The easier and far more cowardly thing to do would be for Peter to make an excuse not to go to dinner and let Spider-Man show up to impress Ellie on her birthday.

Something else occurred to him, then, as well — he’d come to terms with the fact that Wade might be disappointed at the man under the suit, but until now he hadn’t taken _Ellie’s_ potential reaction to the matter into account. Would Spider-Man be just another disappointment in a young girl’s already troubled life?

Peter decided to head home, his stomach churning the whole way.

After he climbed through his window, he stripped out of his suit and took a hot shower hoping it would help clear his mind.

He skipped dinner and crawled into bed, checking his phone to see a message from May telling him about Ellie’s birthday dinner — like he hadn’t been panicking about it all evening.

_Wade asked Spider-Man to go to the dinner, I’m just gonna do that because he’s much less disappointing than Peter Parker. Give her my apologies and tell Ellie I’ll get her present to her some other time. Love you, May._

After he sent his reply, he put his phone on airplane mode, not wanting to read whatever May would respond with.


	8. Chapter 8

Peter’s first week back at college had been rough — he had received three assignments to keep him busy in what little free time he had. The Bugle was as bad as ever, with Jameson demanding another article on why Spider-Man was the worst because the paper hadn’t printed on that issue in, oh, a month.

His nights patrolling without Wade were lonely, and Peter wondered if it was something he was going to have to get used to.

He’d decided that at the first opportunity to see Deadpool as Spider-Man after Ellie’s birthday, he would come clean. Then, Wade could decide wether to tell Ellie or not, and how to proceed. The thought of their friendship, their potential — _ugh_ — relationship either progressing or coming to a halt like a business merger left a bad taste in Peter’s mouth, but he felt like he had no other choice. He’d buried himself under half-truths and misdirection, and it was time to lay everything bare.

Sunday afternoon came, and Peter suited up, trying to prepare himself for whatever might lay ahead. He had to put on a good show for Ellie’s sake — the kid deserved a visit from the man Spider-Man _could_ be, not the man Peter currently felt like; anxious, tired, downcast.

He swung through the city and across the Queensboro bridge, landing on the roof of their apartment block and stalling himself for a moment. Another thing he hadn’t taken into account was the disapproving looks May wouldn’t bother hiding, because he’d been avoiding her calls and texts for the last week.

He slid down the side of the building on a web, and landed on the fire escape outside of Wade’s lounge room window. Ellie and May were sitting on the couch that faced away from the window, Ellie wearing a princess crown, and Wade, who was sitting in the arm chair directed at the window, noticed him immediately. His smile stretched to a big grin, and he said something to Ellie, who whipped around so fast Peter winced.

Her mouth dropped into a perfect ‘o’ of surprise, and he gave her a little wave. She grinned, just like her father, and ran over to the window to let Spider-Man in.

“Oh, my god, Spider-Man!” She squealed, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the apartment, wrapping her tiny arms around his waist. “Is it really you?”

“Yes, it’s me,” Peter said in his best superhero voice — something that had come a _long_ way since he’d been a goofy kid, stuttering as his voice wavered and broke. “Your father asked me to stop by sometime, and when I heard it was your birthday, I just had to come and say hello!”

He glanced at May, who was wearing a sad smile, but then looked down as Ellie took an abrupt step back.

“Wait a minute,” she said, looking up at Peter. She crossed her arms and cocked her head, and honest-to-god leaned in and _sniffed_ Peter. _Jeez, like father, like daughter, huh?_ Peter mused as the girl silently appraised him. “Peter, why are you dressed up as Spider-Man? May said you couldn’t come tonight?”

“Uh, Ellie,” Wade said gently, standing and walking over to place a hand on her shoulder. “That _is_ Spider-Man, not Peter. Check out his webshooters — he’s the real deal!”

“No, it’s Peter,” Ellie insisted, keeping her eyes focussed on Peter’s mask.

Peter’s mind had gone completely blank. He had no freaking clue what to say because a _nine year old girl had just figured out his secret identity._ This — this _secret_ that had been bugging him for a whole _month_ was just casually thrown out there by Ellie.

“Ellie, I’ve worked with Spider-Man for a very long time. I think I can recognise the real deal,” Wade told her, sounding absolutely certain.

“Then I guess Peter is Spider-Man,” Ellie shrugged, and god, she was so blasé! Peter shot a silent plea for help to May, but to his horror she stood, crossed her arms, and stared him down.

“It’s time, kiddo,” she said in her no-nonsense tone, and Peter sighed.

“I woud’ve preferred this to go down differently,” he said slowly, raising his hand and pulling his mask off. He couldn’t look Wade in the eye, so he settled for looking at May, whose expression had softened already. “Surprise,” he said weakly.

“Peter?” Wade said quietly, and Peter’s eyes snapped to his surprised expression.

“Tolja,” Ellie boasted smugly. “That’s a pretty cool costume, Peter, but you didn’t have to dress up for my birthday. Spider-Man’s cool and all, but I like you, Peter.”

“Honey, sweetie, baby,” Wade groaned, cupping his hand over Ellie’s mouth. “You were right, but I was right, too. He _is_ the real Spider-Man, and that’s not a costume.”

“Oh. _Oh,”_ Ellie said softly as it clicked, giving Peter a once-over that made him shift uncomfortably where he was stood. “Haha, Dad, you were totally feeling guilty for having a huge crush on Spider-Man and then falling in love with —”

“Okay, that’s enough birthday surprises,” Wade clapped his hand over Ellie’s mouth again and she looked up at him, radiating smugness. “Who wants cake?”

“Dinner, first,” May scolded. They all stood there, staring at each other awkwardly, before bursting into action. May headed for the kitchen to grab the food, and Ellie went to park herself at the table. Peter still couldn’t quite meet Wade’s eye, so he stared at a point just above Wade’s left shoulder.

“Sh-should I go?” He asked the room at large, jerking his thumb towards the window.

“Nope,” Ellie said dismissively.

“No, there’s plenty of food,” Wade said in a careful tone that made Peter nervous.

May brought out a tray of chicken nuggets and a home-made pizza, and Peter didn’t have to wonder who got to choose what they were having for dinner. He felt foolish sitting at the dinner table with his aunt, the Object of His Affections™️, and the OHA™️’s daughter, while maskless in his super suit.

“Oh, I have this for you,” Peter said, pulling a small gift out from the seamless pocket on the waistband of his suit.

“Thanks, Peter,” she gave him a toothy grin and tore the paper. Out dropped a small gold necklace with a heart on it. “Oh, it’s so pretty,” she whispered, thumbing the pattern on the front.

“Look at the back,” Peter told her. She turned the charm over, and smiled softly.

 _“W.W,”_ she read, and looked up at Peter, “Wade Wilson.”

“Yep,” Peter smiled, “so you’ll always remember what we talked about on New Year’s Eve.”

He hadn’t been planning on giving her the gift dressed as Spider-Man, but for some unfathomable reason had decided to take it with him at the last minute. He could feel Wade giving them a curious look, and Ellie could tell her father about it later if she wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t hear about the conversation from Peter. As long as Ellie wasn’t in actually danger, Peter could keep her insecurities and secret fears from Wade.

“Oh, Ellie, I have the perfect pair of earrings that’ll match that necklace! How about after dinner, we go next door and I’ll see if I can find them for you?” May said, subtle as ever. Peter didn’t know whether to glare at her, or thank her, so he settled for focussing on his plate as he ate his chicken nuggets.

“What else did you get for your birthday?” Peter asked Ellie after a beat of silence, and she launched into a detailed account of all of her presents.

After dinner, May and Ellie left Peter alone at the dinner table with Wade, and Peter honestly considered the merits of launching himself out the window and never looking back. He was glad he didn’t, though, because a warm, scarred hand covered his on the table, drawing his gaze to Wade.

“I was gonna tell you,” he blurted before thinking. Wade’s lips quirked into a half-smile, and Peter sighed. “I really was. Um, after Christmas. But then you were gone, and when you came back you wanted Spider-Man at Ellie’s birthday, and I thought, ‘hey, Spider-Man is a million times better and cooler than Peter Parker, so why not keep up the charade for a bit longer,’ which turned out to be a huge mistake because even though I knew Ellie was smart, she’s, like, way smarter than I gave her credit for — either that or I don’t try hard enough to hide my voice, although you and I have been hanging out together outside of the suit for a month and you didn’t recognise me, and you know I’m just gonna keep rambling until you shut me up, right? Please for the love of god, say something to make me stop?”

“You done?” Wade asked patiently, and Peter glanced at the empty space in front of his head as though visually trying to organise his thoughts.

“Yes?” He said, uncertain.

“It’s okay that you didn’t tell me, Peter,” Wade said, squeezing his hand gently. Peter met his soft, earnest gaze, and almost believed him. “I mean, Spider-Man is great, but Peter Parker is, too, so it’s like, a double dose of awesome that you’re the same person. And you’re right, I should’ve picked up on the voice thing — but I don’t think I could’ve ever believed my brain if it told me that Petey and Spidey were one and the same.”

“Because Peter is so disappointing?” He asked. God, talking about himself in the third person was kind of getting old.

“What? No, god, no,” Wade scoffed, looking at Peter like he was crazy. Jury’s still out.

“Uh, well, in the interest of full disclosure, and because I don’t plan on letting lies or omission of truth get in the way again,” Peter said, “and because I’m, like, thirty-seven-percent sure you feel the same,” he muttered, hesitating a moment before continuing, “I wanted to tell you that I have feelings for you. Romantic stylez. With a ‘z’. And I want to keep hanging out with you like we’ve done for the last month, but maybe with more kissing, and stuff. And a different label. ‘Friends’ is so last year.”

“Thirty-seven-percent, huh?” Wade asked thoughtfully, and Peter frowned at him.

“Wade,” Peter whined, “you’re focussing on the wrong part! I’m trying to be all mature and adult-y, okay? You’re a parent — work with me, here!”

“Okay, sorry, jeez,” Wade muttered, twisting Peter’s hand so they sat palm-to-palm with their fingers interlocked. “How about we date, and kiss — and ‘stuff’ as you so maturely put it — and we can be boyfriends?”

“Just like that? It’s that easy?” Peter asked, unsure.

“I mean, if you can call a month of secrets and not-dates, and I’m sensing a lot of internal angsting on your part, ‘easy’ then sure,” Wade shrugged.

“I did _not_ angst,” Peter scowled.

“Oh, first lie of the relationship, seventeen seconds in,” Wade grinned, and Peter rolled his eyes.

“Alright, alright,” Peter conceded, “now are we just going to sit around all day, or are we going to kiss?”

“I’m ninety-percent sure that’s not the correct quote,” Wade said.

“I wasn’t quoting anything,” Peter frowned.

“Oops, am I in the wrong universe again?” Wade wondered. “The comics are technically owned by Marvel, but I’m not sure about the movies…”

“I’m sorry, _‘again’?!_ You must have this whole other life I don’t know about, huh?”

“Fuggedaboudit,” Wade smirked, “this is the only life I’m interested in.”

With that sorted(?) Wade leaned across the table and pressed a chaste kiss to Peter’s lips. Out of all the scenarios Peter dreamed up that this might happen, it matched roughly half of his fantasies. Wade’s lips were warm and textured, but so, so soft.

“Another,” Peter breathed, and Wade grinned manically, leaning back in.

After their second kiss (and third. And fourth. And seventy eighth.) they started cleaning up the dishes from dinner, and May and Ellie wandered back in to find them standing extremely close to each other in front of the sink while, as always, Peter washed and Wade dried.

They sang _Happy Birthday_ to Ellie, and ate ice cream cake, even though it was January — it was what Ellie wanted, and what she wanted she got.

After desert, Wade told Ellie to pick a movie, and they all sat down to watch it. Ellie and May took an arm chair each, forcing — because it was _such a huge_ inconvenience — Wade and Peter to sit next to each other on the couch. And if Wade laid his arm on the back of the couch, around Peter’s shoulder, and if Peter leaned into him a little more than usual, well, at least May and Ellie had the decency not to point it out.

Their smug silence and pointed smirks were enough.

Almost.

Until Ellie muttered, _“Finally.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Was — was it obvious that I know nothing about New York at Christmas, and very little about the city in general? I took some creative liberties, haha :s
> 
> I hope you liked it! I have a couple of ideas for this little verse, so I’ll write and post them when I’m not crying about uni or the Infinity War trailer that I’m sill too scared to watch xx
> 
> Please send me prompts/leave me feedback <3


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